Featureman

featureman is a senile old man who cooks absolutely disgusting and drinks rootbeer straight from the two leader leaving behind food chunks at all. The result of being a virgin in your 80s, someone should have put him in a retirement home as soon as he started using pasta sauce mayo and sweet relish as salad dressing. (see gif for a common reaction to his cooking)

Wife: What should we have for dinner?

Husband: I was thinking we could try this new Featureman recipe

Wife: *begins packing bags*

by ForkCartel January 28, 2022