Erectile Northfunction
A condition in which the penis becomes magnetized and will only point True North while erect. This disease is caused by a bacterial infection that, if untreated, can cause the penis to swell with a magnetic fluid, a byproduct of the bacterial growth.
Side effects include: Swelling of the penis, magnetic penile discharge, hives in the pubic region, an unquenchible thirst for sex.
The fluid will set off metal detectors and activate antitheft alarms at grocery stores.
A full recovery is possible if treatment is started early in the process, and requires monthes of physical therapy.
Side effects include: Swelling of the penis, magnetic penile discharge, hives in the pubic region, an unquenchible thirst for sex.
The fluid will set off metal detectors and activate antitheft alarms at grocery stores.
A full recovery is possible if treatment is started early in the process, and requires monthes of physical therapy.
Rebecca sent Dean a DM; it was a booty call.
She waited for his response while lying on her queen-sized mattress in an oversized T-shirt, a Sara Bareilles song played from the blutooth speaker atop a stack of textbooks she was supposed to read. Her phone buzzed. Rebecca quickly tapped the message.
“Ok” the message read, “But we have to face North when we do it... My Doc said I got erectile Northfunction...”
She waited for his response while lying on her queen-sized mattress in an oversized T-shirt, a Sara Bareilles song played from the blutooth speaker atop a stack of textbooks she was supposed to read. Her phone buzzed. Rebecca quickly tapped the message.
“Ok” the message read, “But we have to face North when we do it... My Doc said I got erectile Northfunction...”
Erectile Northfunction by Varnpike August 2, 2018
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