Eileen Dover

A noted industrialist, socialite, author and porn star, Eileen is the wife of construction magnate Ben Dover. A bisexual power couple, the Dover pair are notable primarily for founding the lift company which bears their name. Their close companions resemble a list of the most distinctive and notable names, including Crystal Shanda Lear - the daughter of LearJet's founding inventor.

Eileen and Ben are also closely associated with the group sex and bukkake lifestyle which they have embraced since the Beatles-inspired orgies of the 1960's with their theme "Come together / Right now / Over me..."

They also built the glory holes which were depicted in Pink Floyd's "The Wall", appearing together in the climactic scene "All and all you're just / Another prick in the wall". This work laid the foundation for Schrödinger's Gloryhole, a scientific principle which states that, if one has no idea whether it's Ben or Eileen behind the hole, that it is possible to be both not-gay and really-really-gay at the same time. The uncertainty only collapses once one knowingly climaxes into one or the other. Best to call out "no homo" at the moment of orgasm as it's a get out of jail free card that always works.

There were numerous pornographic video appearances, including one with Aerosmith titled "Love in an Elevator".
At a time when most mainstream porn was merely a vintage of sleazy dialogue and cheesy sound which Dover had rejected as elevator music, Eileen's porn with its catchy tune and clever choreography was quite a sensation.

The high point in Eileen's porn career was a video with Dexy's Midnight Runners entitled "Come on Eileen" which starred such notables as Ben Dover, Phil McCracken, Connie Lingus, Phil Attio, Don Keydick and Hugh Jass. The picture was basically a bukkake orgy set to a catchy tune, which Dexy would sing as both Eileen and Ben were thoroughly coated with spooge from every angle:

Come on Eileen
On her face, on her feet
On her breasts, what a mess
We come on Eileen

On her breasts, on her dress
Eileen, what a mess
Ben, lick her clean
We come on Eileen...

As the Dover Elevator made Ben and Eileen a lucrative profit, both could have retired years ago. The ability to bypass the huge 130-foot spiral staircase which laboriously climbed the whitened cliffs of Dover with their mechanised contraption which could pleasurably go down in a manner of a minute or two was innovative and scientifically brilliant.

Nonetheless, Ben and Eileen are still active and erotica or textual pornography continues to be released by mainstream publishers under the pen of Eileen Dover even today. Eileen is also often imitated by her admirers in the LGBTQ community, including a disc jockey from Boston, a drag queen in NYC and a rival queen in Texas. They all want to come on Eileen.
by bitchuck February 14, 2025
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