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To Ear Wank (verb) is the act of firmly inserting a finger into one's own ear and then fairly vigorously jerking the hand up and down.

The person who is "ear wanking themselves off" experiences an intense satisfaction; not dissimilar to, yet still distinct from, the same satisfaction experienced when scratching an unpleasant itch.

An Ear Wank (noun) comes from the verb, and describes the act of undergoing an ear wank.


Note that it is possible in theory to ear wank other people off, but due to the risks involved (eg. ear wax) it is rarely practiced and not widely accepted in Western Society.
Alex: "Tom... WHAT are you doing?"

Tom: "I'm ear wanking."

Alex: "Oh. Looks weird."

Tom: "Yeah."
Ear Wank by Mrweh October 18, 2008
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The heightened sense of hearing a young man develops when he masturbate in a house with other people. Despite masturbating he intensely listens for anybody approaching his location so he has ample time to hide his penis, clean up his immediate environment, and maybe hide any pornography he might be using.
Aw man, since moving back home I had to sharpen up my wank ear.

My wife doesn't knock when I shower, better use my wank ear when I rub one out.
Wank ear by munky82 December 13, 2017

ear wanker 

or a person how is having a finger blast of the ear hole to get rid of an itch or pain to relieve pressure
a deep itch of the ear lope would cause you to stick your finger in your ear, therefore, being a ear wanker . god! stu your a earwanker you've been wanking your ear all morning!

Ear wanking 

Using an implement (e.g. cotton bud) to penetrate the ear canal repeatedly.
Is Jan cleaning his ear out, he’s been doing it for ages. No, he’s ear wanking
Ear wanking by Morbabe July 15, 2018
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A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
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"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
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I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
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Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
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Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
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"The girl is pretty but she corrupt and dutty!"

or, in a positive usage:

"Booya! That freestyle was dutty!"
Dutty by J Hall April 3, 2003
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