Dibortion 

When you get a divorce and a abortion at the same time

Wife: oh shit I’m pregnant and it’s yours
Husband: no this can’t be
Wife: I’m getting a dibortion!

Dibortion by TheDarkSoul882 December 24, 2018

Dibortion 

When a man will get a woman pregenant divorce her and kill them both.

Mike got a Dibortion. He’s now on trial for murder

Dibortion by I’mTheTrashManIThrowTrash June 18, 2019

Dibortion 

Another word for giving up your child to an orphanage. In other words, it’s like you’re going through a divorce with your child. For this word to work, the child must already be born. An unborn child is just an abortion.

“I’ve just had a dibortion my three month old, Sally, to the orphanage”

Dibortion by Pipyeetsapen April 22, 2021

Dibortion 

A simultaneous divorce and abortion.

Friend: "Hey! How are you and the ol' lady doing?"
Me: "Oh, not so good. I a gave her a dibortion

Friend: "A what?"

Me: "I had her sign the paperwork at the clinic."

Dibortion by Fastnut March 14, 2022

Vagina Distortion Field 

Like the notorious reality distortion field (RDF) of Steve Jobs, a Vagina Distortion Field (VDF) affects perception, which thereby alters behavior. When someone is affected by a woman's VDF, every aspect of her being seemingly improves in that person's view. A woman's VDF typically only influences those who have not yet had access to said vagina. Being warped by a VDF is different than being pussy whipped. With the latter, the whipped individual behaves abnormally to maintain access to the pussy, but perception of the vagina owner is not altered. The VDF often has the greatest affect on the owner of the vagina, making her vastly overestimate her worth, influence, and potential.

Spock: "Captain, you are once again risking the lives of the entire crew in the pursuit of some green slag."

Kirk: "Mr. Spock, your libido-less Vulcan logic fails to grasp the enormity of the daily Pon Farr that starship command subjects on a man."

Spock: "Mr. Sulu and Mr. Chekov, move the Enterprise as far as is necessary and raise whatever shield is needed to protect the captain's mind from the insidious Vagina Distortion Field that is destroying his judgement."

Kirk: "Spawwwwwwwwwk!!!"

<cue Kirk fight music>

Vagina Distortion Field by Bachelor boB January 17, 2012

distortionist 

A less biting, somewhat elegant and mystical sounding term used to describe a practiced liar.

At one time, before his traitorous cognitive decline, the Hitman in Chief was a most prolific and talented distortionist.

distortionist by Dr Bunnygirl September 27, 2019

Perspectorial distortion 

When a girl looks good from a distance but as the girl gets closer you realize that your previous notion was false. (Also know as P.D.)

When you see that girl from a distance and is like damn shes hot, but when she gets close you notice 5 warts on her face and an abnormally lopsided set of breast. You say "damn that was some major P.D.(Perspectorial distortion )".

Perspectorial distortion by Goldenshot1000 November 8, 2015