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Dan Mandel 

Character from the show Dan VS. He seems to be a center of bad luck almost everywhere he goes. But does he let it get to him?

...Yes. Yes he does, often with crazy results due to him overreacting. I mean, it's kind of obvious, because the dude wears a shirt that says JERK on the front.

His only two friends are Chris, a man who is 1/16th Canadian and an AMAZING cook, and Elise, Chris's wife and a secret agent with access to an UNBELIEVABLE amount of deadly weaponry.

A short list of his actions and the offending object that led to it (if available):
Destroyed Canada through the use of an iceberg (Overly Sticky Maple Syrup)
Stole explosives, blew up a used car dealership, AND dropped a vertigo-inducing chemical weapon over a city (Traffic)
Assault and battery of a telemarketer (SHOULD BE OBVIOUS)
Caused disruptive action in a courtroom (Jury Duty)
Wedding Crasher (Ex-Girlfriend (DON'T ASK ME HOW HE GOT ONE))
Assaulting a group of balloonists with an alien spaceship (Car crash)
Blew up an animal shelter (Interrupted sleep)
Somehow taking control of the U.S. Nuclear weapons system.
(TO BE UPDATED)
UUUUURBAAAAAN DIIIIIICTIIIOOOOONAAAAARYYYYYY! - Dan Mandel, upon learning of my entry.
Dan Mandel by Anhilliator1 December 17, 2017
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breatharian 

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The breatharian has air, light, and prana for food.
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🤡🫵🏻

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