Cumlories 

The calories from cum

I can't swallow today, I'm watching my Cumlories

Cumlories by CountTo4 September 5, 2016

burning calories 

1. particularly good sex

1. I didn't get any sleep, we were burning calories all night.

burning calories by otay May 20, 2005

empty calories 

Foods that only contain calories but no additional nutrients like protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals.

Person 1: Would you like some soda?
Person 2: No, that's just empty calories. I'll have juice instead.

Person 1: Want some candy for dessert?
Person 2: Nah, I'll have a baked sweet potato instead.

empty calories by areallnamestaken December 8, 2010

400 Calories 

Supposedly making out for 20 minutes burns 400 calories.

Actually, 400 Kilocalories, but food companies thought it would be easier to denote those things we burn as calories, so what the hell. Apparently metric prefixes are fucking scary.

Chad: "Hey Lisa want to burn 400 calories?"
Lisa: "Sure Chad, but I'm not taking off my pants...yet."
{ 20 minutes later }
Chad: "Wanna burn 400 more."
Lisa: "Let's go for 2000. Take off your pants."

400 Calories by tron.von.tronicus January 8, 2008

calories 

tiny, microscopic creatures who live in your closet who sew up your close each night to make them smaller. They do this out of jealousy and hatred for the human race for not recognizing them as existent.

Calories: dude, she did not just put her fav jeans in the closet, get my sewing needles.

calories by slimjimcalorieexterminator February 19, 2012

Smash the Calories 

A phrase used meaning wanting to make love/shag/fuck an overweight lady on the large side!

I would smash the calories out of her!

or

I want to smash the calories out of you!

Smash the Calories by bigwstyle2010 April 20, 2010

indulgence calories 

Are the calories that you bank all week because you are eating a healthy low calorie diet, that you then get to 'use' when you feel you've earned dessert or comfort food.

I don't want to waste my 'indulgence calories' I've saved up on a bland tasting dessert!

indulgence calories by radken May 7, 2009