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calculate my expenses 

Term used when counting the amount of change in your pocket.
Wilson: You gonna come to the cinema?

James: I dunno let me calculate my expenses
calculate my expenses by morgangills November 19, 2004

Calculate Someones Mom

Calculating a mom is a slang term used often in the Azerbaijani area's. In Azeri it is "hesablamaq sənin anan", which roughly translates to "Calculate your mother". In Azeri slang, it means to have sexual relations with someones mother, and after these relations, to upload a review on that mother to some social media. This term is often used in an incestial way. When used to talk about incest it leans more towards the meaning having un orthodox/taboo sex with your own mother.
Elnur: Yo dude have you seen Rashads mom?
Togrul: Yea man. I would totally calculate her.
Elnur: Hell yea. That way everyone can know how good that pussy is.
Togrul: fuck yea.

OR:
Elnur: your mom is totally hot
Togrul: yo I calculate that on the daily
Elnur: Yo bro that is crazy I also wanted to calculate your mom
Togrul: Bro that shit is mine. I am the only man calculating dat ass

OR
Togrul: man i really want to Calculate Someones Mom
Elnur: just calculate your own mom
Togrul: oh yea! thats a great idea!

captain calculate 

1: A mythical figure whom possesses math skills of a much higher level than that of an average mortal man. (Believed by some to have the ability to solve complex quadratic equations with minimal expenditure of time and/or physical exertion.)

2: One whom has the ability to go medieval on that seemingly unsolvable and obscure "The train left the station" problem's ass.
"Im no captain calculate, but 31 divided by 2 doesn't exactly perplex me."

Congressional Calculator 

The Congressional Calculator is much like Obamanomics, it's calculations that don't add up in the real world yet people buy into strictly based on the source of the info. The Congressional Calculator is used anytime things don't quite add up but fits the agenda du jour. It's like adding 2+2 and getting minus 4 billion.
"Great news! Government Healthcare just passed which should decrease the deficit by about 2 Trillion!!" "ah, I love the Congressional Calculator, I'm gonna go buy a new 'vette."
The act of figuring out the way to get the most drunk for the least amount of money.
Mike - Guys, I picked up some Busch Light for the power hour instead of the Zima that Neal requested. I’ve never finished a power hour before, but I have alculated before and this is the cheapest, most effective way to do it.

Neal - I prefer the taste of Zima, but you're correct, this does alculate better.
alculate by FredSmootSexCruise January 30, 2008

Calubated? 

"Calubated?" - Greek word (δΕεΖζΗηΘθ)- means when something is in the state of imrepairness and broken
Or when someone or something is beyond the state of repairing or broken
*You and your friends are playing Rocket league*
Yahiya - *THROWS*
Safwan - Your such a honkey-dory,

Mystick - "WHAT A SAVE"

"WHAT A SAVE"

"WHAT A SAVE"
Yahiya - "Calubated?"
Calubated? by caramell0 January 19, 2021