Closet mom 

A woman who is not upfront about being a mother.

“I went in two dates with this hottie before she dropped the bomb that she has kids.What a closet mom

Closet mom by Ubbhed September 7, 2019

closetmonkey

A playful euphemism of someone who is homosexual but not yet out of the closet.

"no one knows i'm gay except you guys"

"aw you're a lil closetmonkey"

closetmonkey by gogobordello May 1, 2009

closetmonkey

a gay neighbor that thinks hes cool and comes over at HIDES IN THE CLOSET if this is a guy it isnt bad run in the closet with her

*straight*:what the fuck are u doing <put name here> can i come in?(<only for GIRLS!)
*gay*wanna come in (for girl)wanna come in(guy)
*straight*yes(girl)nowaht the fuck are u doing get out of my house!(guy)

closetmonkey by zippo man November 6, 2004

Closetmobile 

Closetmobile a Male who prefers hiding his feelings for men by always wanting to express his love for cars, until he can express his love to other males

Hey! That’s Gary. He must bat for both teams because he loves cars more than women. Definitely a closetmobile

Closetmobile by Souldestroyerbill September 6, 2018

Closetomer 

close·tom·er
noun
1. A person or organization that intentionally inhibits a business from closing their duties within its operational hours. These individuals will enter a retail store, restaurant, or business- with the explicit purpose of detaining the employees on the premises from going home for the day.

"Ms. Harrison was a terrible regular closetomer at the designer outlet"

Closetomer by ThePageMaister September 13, 2022