Cement Mixers

The thing that all real men want.

The "Are you a real man?" test:

Question 1)
Do you want a cement mixer?
Answer:
YES!

Bonus Question for those who got full marks, to seperate the men from the boys: Why do you want a cement mixer?
Most manly answer: Don't know... I just do (or words to that effect)
Acceptable answers: Anything that doesn't involve mixing of cement
Least manly answer: Mixing cement

Every now & again you meet an uber-man who has a cement mixer...

Girls, always take this test into account when picking a boyfriend.

Uber-man:
Girl: So, Do you want a cement mixer?
Guy: No...
Girl: *starting to realise she's made a mistake*
Guy: I ALREADY GOT ONE!!!

Real man:
Girl: So, Do you want a cement mixer?
Guy: Yeah!
Girl: Why?
Guy: Don't know... would be cool!

Failed man:
Girl: So, do you want a cement mixer?
Guy: No... wtf...
(DUMPED)

Sorry excuse for a man:
Female dragon: So, Kwisli, do you want a cement mixer?
Guy: Noo!!! I don't need a cement mixer, I can mix cement by hand!!
(DUMPED AND CHAR-GRILLED)

(For some reason I have to include the word CEMENT MIXERS in my example)

by Jai NobeZ October 31, 2008

redneck cement mixer

when you fill your cousins ass with cement then mix it around with your dick

last night i gave sally sue the redneck cement mixer

by jonny cash 420 October 18, 2015

Tucson cement mixer

The act of peeing inside an anus and then proceeding to fornicate it, creating a wet cement like mixture.

Hey babe, come over for Dinner and a good old fashion Tucson cement mixer.

by Jblanco October 11, 2019

Cement mixer

A sexual act where one anally penetrates a person with extreme constipation. Thereby resolving said condition.

Ah nathan, I haven’t had any Mucinex this week!
No worries babe, we can do the cement mixer tonight by candlelight.

by Venice Vigilantes April 2, 2022

cement mixer

In baseball, when a pitcher throws a slider that doesn't break and hangs in the trike zone. It becomes an easily hitable pitch.

The reliever threw a cement mixer and the hitter crushed it for a grand slam.

by Granny Smith November 19, 2012

cement mixer

A foul, disgusting, horrible, drink made of a shot of lime juice and another shot of Bailey's Irish Cream.

You drink the lime juice first and hold it in your mouth. You then shot the Bailey's and swish them together in your mouth as though you were using mouthwash.

Within several seconds your mouth will be full of a rancidly textured ball of goop (the "cement"). As a straight male I can't vouch for it but it must be similar to having a mouthful of cum. Swallowing it is even worse.

They are so gross that the clown who buys you one of these is lucky if you don't gob it back in his face.

Better choices can be found in the tags below.

The cement mixer: even more of a painful experience than Tequila slammers or chartreuse.

by Choda Boy 57 August 24, 2006

Canadian Cement Mixer

The act of spreading a person's ass cheeks, and further, deficating into previously stated open anus. Epoxy is then applied to the cheeks and held closed until dry.

"Oh man, check out my butt! I just got a Canadian Cement Mixer from Marco!"

by Ross224 January 20, 2009