Cement Mixers

The thing that all real men want.

The "Are you a real man?" test:

Question 1)
Do you want a cement mixer?
Answer:
YES!

Bonus Question for those who got full marks, to seperate the men from the boys: Why do you want a cement mixer?
Most manly answer: Don't know... I just do (or words to that effect)
Acceptable answers: Anything that doesn't involve mixing of cement
Least manly answer: Mixing cement

Every now & again you meet an uber-man who has a cement mixer...

Girls, always take this test into account when picking a boyfriend.
Uber-man:
Girl: So, Do you want a cement mixer?
Guy: No...
Girl: *starting to realise she's made a mistake*
Guy: I ALREADY GOT ONE!!!

Real man:
Girl: So, Do you want a cement mixer?
Guy: Yeah!
Girl: Why?
Guy: Don't know... would be cool!

Failed man:
Girl: So, do you want a cement mixer?
Guy: No... wtf...
(DUMPED)

Sorry excuse for a man:
Female dragon: So, Kwisli, do you want a cement mixer?
Guy: Noo!!! I don't need a cement mixer, I can mix cement by hand!!
(DUMPED AND CHAR-GRILLED)

(For some reason I have to include the word CEMENT MIXERS in my example)
by Jai NobeZ September 17, 2008
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Cement mixer

A sexual act where one anally penetrates a person with extreme constipation. Thereby resolving said condition.
Ah nathan, I haven’t had any Mucinex this week!
No worries babe, we can do the cement mixer tonight by candlelight.
by Venice Vigilantes April 02, 2022
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cement mixer

In baseball, when a pitcher throws a slider that doesn't break and hangs in the trike zone. It becomes an easily hitable pitch.
The reliever threw a cement mixer and the hitter crushed it for a grand slam.
by Granny Smith November 19, 2012
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cement mixer

A foul, disgusting, horrible, drink made of a shot of lime juice and another shot of Bailey's Irish Cream.

You drink the lime juice first and hold it in your mouth. You then shot the Bailey's and swish them together in your mouth as though you were using mouthwash.

Within several seconds your mouth will be full of a rancidly textured ball of goop (the "cement"). As a straight male I can't vouch for it but it must be similar to having a mouthful of cum. Swallowing it is even worse.

They are so gross that the clown who buys you one of these is lucky if you don't gob it back in his face.

Better choices can be found in the tags below.

The cement mixer: even more of a painful experience than Tequila slammers or chartreuse.
by Choda Boy 57 August 24, 2006
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cement mixer

A sex move, especially popular in the south, where a girl holds a mouthful of hot grits in her mouth while performing oral sex on a guy.
My girl did the cement mixer on me last night, but she cooked the grits too long and scalded my penis.
by whodoneit March 11, 2010
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cement mixer

an alcoholic drink;
a mixture of lime juice, vodka and bailey's;
when swished inside one's mouth forms a solid texture that is similar to cement mixture;
can i have a cement mixer please?
by Michael Hui November 11, 2005
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cement mixer

rough sex in which the man is pumping the woman so hard, that her head goes through the drywall. Then the man blows his load in her hair and mixes it around. When it dries, its hard like cement.
That kid put his phd into action and gave all three of those sluts cement mixers. Look at their hair!
by John Sucamelli October 12, 2004
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