Cactus fuck is when a girl or guy or possibly both has forgotten to shave their pubic / public hair after it has come to a stubble and yet still decide to place ones floppy nugget / penis into the others corn hole or meat cove / b hole-vagina and the hair stubble feels like cactus quills on your cock resulting in the loss of skin and blood yet still some how fun.
Hey Becky did you see the way that Steven is walking today? Hilda told me that she snuck the old Cactus fuck in on Steve last night. His juicer must look like the inside of a Iraqis car after a firefight.. she told me that when they woke up in the morning his cock was glued to the bed sheets with blood. Ewwwwaaahhh
by Fluffy chub January 20, 2017
I helped rebuild a garage that burnt down, and my buddy gave me a bill after for helping that's when you realized you got cactus fucked.
by Cactus corner April 14, 2021
Holding a cactus plant or part of a cactus that resembles a penis close or up to the pelvis while clothed and moving the pelvis area like you are humping a person and/or an object. Another succesful way to cactus fuck is to move your hand around but not touching any part of the cactus in the motion of masturbating
by Kameroon June 20, 2009
That wonderful phrase which is uttered by the speaker when his standards in life are so low, that he would consider the action of having sexual intercourse with a cactus, equal to spreading the word of the lord; thus combining holiness, and repetitively and violently shoving your penis into a cactus to the point where either you bleed out from blood loss, or the cactus calls the police for relentless sexual assault, and turning it into that sweet phrase we know and love.
*Notice I said "he", as women have the right mind to keep them from giving just enough of shit to not utter this phrase, although it has happened in rare cases.
*Notice I said "he", as women have the right mind to keep them from giving just enough of shit to not utter this phrase, although it has happened in rare cases.
64 year old on Viagra and pain meds: "HOLY CACTUS FUCK"
Married son of 64 year old on Viagra and pain meds: "Oh shit here we go again... Honey hide the cactus!"
Married son of 64 year old on Viagra and pain meds: "Oh shit here we go again... Honey hide the cactus!"
by toodlefucker6969 July 8, 2017
When a person is very hungry so they pull up to McDonald's and they want to try something new so they order the travy patty using the secret code: "Cactus jack fucked me".
Other codes could be used too such as:
"Cactus jacked me off"
"Jacques Webster sent me"
"Cactusjack fucked my cat and bit my dick off"
"You know why I'm here"
Usually after the code the costumer will play Sicko Mode to unlock the travy party.
Other codes could be used too such as:
"Cactus jacked me off"
"Jacques Webster sent me"
"Cactusjack fucked my cat and bit my dick off"
"You know why I'm here"
Usually after the code the costumer will play Sicko Mode to unlock the travy party.
McDonald's worker: "Hi what can I get for you today?
Costumer: "Cactus jack fucked me"
Mcdonald's worker: "I'm sorry what was th..."
Costumer: *INSERTS SICKO MODE*
McDonald's worker: "So you want a Sprite with that?"
Costumer: "Yeh"
Costumer: "Cactus jack fucked me"
Mcdonald's worker: "I'm sorry what was th..."
Costumer: *INSERTS SICKO MODE*
McDonald's worker: "So you want a Sprite with that?"
Costumer: "Yeh"
by Xbox1spaz69 September 13, 2020