Batio
Batio by Denvervibe November 7, 2015
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michael angelo batio
Michael Angelo Batio, sometimes called simply "MAB," is the greatest guitarist of all time. With the ability to play upwards of 900 trillion notes per nanosecond on a slow day, he makes makes Herman Li and Yngwie Malmsteen look (and sound) like complete guitar n00bs.
He started as the guitarist for 80s hair band Nitro before going on to start a solo career. He has many custom made instruments and gear, most notably the V shaped double guitar and the X shaped quad guitar. He starred in an instruction DVD series called "Speed Kills," so named because if you attempt anything he teaches on the DVDs (or even watch them for that matter) you will die.
MAB also invented the hairstyle of having it hang in front of you eyes, but the emo subculture stole it from him. As a result, everytime he sees an emo, he punches them in the face with a soundwave.
"The Speed of MAB" is the fastest speed known known to mankind. It is so fast that it is incalcuable by human standards. An object travelling at the Speed of MAB can travel several billion lightyears in a matter of seconds.
He started as the guitarist for 80s hair band Nitro before going on to start a solo career. He has many custom made instruments and gear, most notably the V shaped double guitar and the X shaped quad guitar. He starred in an instruction DVD series called "Speed Kills," so named because if you attempt anything he teaches on the DVDs (or even watch them for that matter) you will die.
MAB also invented the hairstyle of having it hang in front of you eyes, but the emo subculture stole it from him. As a result, everytime he sees an emo, he punches them in the face with a soundwave.
"The Speed of MAB" is the fastest speed known known to mankind. It is so fast that it is incalcuable by human standards. An object travelling at the Speed of MAB can travel several billion lightyears in a matter of seconds.
-DragonForce pays Michael Angelo Batio not to destroy them.
-MAB originally invented Guitar Hero, but abandoned the project when the product testers exploded trying to play the easiest song.
-An object travelling at the speed of light can get from earth to the moon in 1.2 seconds. That's long enough for MAB to play every song ever known to any man thirty-thousand times each. On a slow day.
-MAB originally invented Guitar Hero, but abandoned the project when the product testers exploded trying to play the easiest song.
-An object travelling at the speed of light can get from earth to the moon in 1.2 seconds. That's long enough for MAB to play every song ever known to any man thirty-thousand times each. On a slow day.
michael angelo batio by LightningandIce January 18, 2008
Related Words
BATIM
BATIM by SkeletonGuy November 2, 2018
bathory
From "bátor", meaning "valiant".
A long-gone but once powerful family of Hungary. The height of the Báthory clan was in the 1500s and 1600s. Thought to be closely inbred, as most royalty and nobility in those days, brighter family members like King Stephan Báthory of Poland were eclipsed by more brutal members. Devil worshippers, perverts, sadists, witches, and mentally unstable characters.
Countess Klara Báthory, aunt of Elizabeth Báthory, was bisexual and sadistic towards her female servants. An uncle of Elizabeth was a schizophrenic Devil worshipper.
Countess Elizabeth (Erzébet) Báthory (1560-1614) was the worst of the Báthory clan. Raven-haired, pale-skinned, voluptuous, she was concidered a beauty... but she bore the personality of a pit bull.
Mentally ill, promiscuous, vain, narcissistic and highly sadistic, Elizabeth was the inspiration behind Count Dracula. Vlad Dracul, a distant relative to her and inspiration for the Count, bears less resemblance to Dracula than Elizabeth, who was concidered a vampire in her own time.
Elizabeth enjoyed torturing servants, especially if they were young women and attractive. As she grew older, she feared losing her youth and her so-called "beauty"... according to folklore a servant girl accidently pulled her hair while styling it and Elizabeth struck the girl across the face so hard that she drew blood, which got onto her hands. When she'd washed the blood off, in her twisted mind, she thought that her skin had regained its freshness and youthful suppleness where the blood had splashed. And the rest is history.
Scores of peasant girls, and later, noble girls of lower rank than the countess, were mercilessly tortured, ranging from weeks to months, and killed in the most painful and frightening ways. Elizabeth never missed out on the torure and death of her victims, delighting in soaking up their blood. Killing girls of nobility began her downfall. She was never charged, sadly, and was walled up inside her small room in 1611, where she died in 1614. Sufficient punishment? I think not. Her accomplices, however, were punished as badly as the maidens that they tortured.
A long-gone but once powerful family of Hungary. The height of the Báthory clan was in the 1500s and 1600s. Thought to be closely inbred, as most royalty and nobility in those days, brighter family members like King Stephan Báthory of Poland were eclipsed by more brutal members. Devil worshippers, perverts, sadists, witches, and mentally unstable characters.
Countess Klara Báthory, aunt of Elizabeth Báthory, was bisexual and sadistic towards her female servants. An uncle of Elizabeth was a schizophrenic Devil worshipper.
Countess Elizabeth (Erzébet) Báthory (1560-1614) was the worst of the Báthory clan. Raven-haired, pale-skinned, voluptuous, she was concidered a beauty... but she bore the personality of a pit bull.
Mentally ill, promiscuous, vain, narcissistic and highly sadistic, Elizabeth was the inspiration behind Count Dracula. Vlad Dracul, a distant relative to her and inspiration for the Count, bears less resemblance to Dracula than Elizabeth, who was concidered a vampire in her own time.
Elizabeth enjoyed torturing servants, especially if they were young women and attractive. As she grew older, she feared losing her youth and her so-called "beauty"... according to folklore a servant girl accidently pulled her hair while styling it and Elizabeth struck the girl across the face so hard that she drew blood, which got onto her hands. When she'd washed the blood off, in her twisted mind, she thought that her skin had regained its freshness and youthful suppleness where the blood had splashed. And the rest is history.
Scores of peasant girls, and later, noble girls of lower rank than the countess, were mercilessly tortured, ranging from weeks to months, and killed in the most painful and frightening ways. Elizabeth never missed out on the torure and death of her victims, delighting in soaking up their blood. Killing girls of nobility began her downfall. She was never charged, sadly, and was walled up inside her small room in 1611, where she died in 1614. Sufficient punishment? I think not. Her accomplices, however, were punished as badly as the maidens that they tortured.
Somewhere between 50 and 650 young ladies were brutally tortured and killed to satisfy the mad countess's unsatiable thirst for blood. Sadly, they are forgotten.
"...a twelve year old girl named Pola somehow managed to escape from the castle. But Dorottya Szentes, aided by Helena Jó, caught the frightened girl by surprise and brought her forcibly back to Csejthe Castle. Clad only in a long white robe, Countess Erzsébet greeted the girl upon her return. The countess was in another of her rages. She advanced on the twelve-year-old child and forced her into a kind of cage. This particular cage was built like a huge ball, too narrow to sit in, too low to stand in. Once the girl was inside, the cage was suddenly hauled up by a pulley, and dozens of short spikes jutted into the cage. Pola tried to avoid being caught on the spikes, but Thorko maneuvered the ropes so that the cage shifted from side to side. Pola's flesh was torn to pieces..."
Grim!
"...a twelve year old girl named Pola somehow managed to escape from the castle. But Dorottya Szentes, aided by Helena Jó, caught the frightened girl by surprise and brought her forcibly back to Csejthe Castle. Clad only in a long white robe, Countess Erzsébet greeted the girl upon her return. The countess was in another of her rages. She advanced on the twelve-year-old child and forced her into a kind of cage. This particular cage was built like a huge ball, too narrow to sit in, too low to stand in. Once the girl was inside, the cage was suddenly hauled up by a pulley, and dozens of short spikes jutted into the cage. Pola tried to avoid being caught on the spikes, but Thorko maneuvered the ropes so that the cage shifted from side to side. Pola's flesh was torn to pieces..."
Grim!
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