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Barney The Dinosaur

a large purple dinosaur that likes to eat little children and make sandwiches with them he is a cannibal and smokes pot. barney is a stalker, he like to eat laptops. he likes to walk aroung in the nude and sing silly songs to attract little kidies. he also recieves royalties from america as they use his songs to torture terrorists
Barney The Dinosaur is eating a kid in a sandwich while smoking pot and surfing the net.
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Barney The Dinosaur

Barney is a large purple dinosaur who loves kids so much, he gives them tons and tons of hugs and kisses. Parents start to get a bit suspicious about him as the series goes on. In fact, most parents are starting to think that Barney is a pedophile. Actresses such as Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato appeared in his abomination show. Parents believe that this is how he gets it on with little kids...

1. He gives them lots of candy

2. He lures them to his house (or wherever he lives)

3. He grabs them by their arms to his bedroom

4. He tells them something, like "Hey, (insert name here) I've got a present for you, but it's under my suit, so you need to fish it out"

So, the moral here is... if Barney is a pedophile, AVOID HIM PLEASE!!
Me: Hey, honey. You think Sarah should be watching Barney The Dinosaur?

Wife: Yes. Why? Is there something wrong?

Me: Yeah, I think he's a pedophile

Wife: Ohh, that would explain why he loves-on kids quite a bit

Barney the Dinosaur

A cheerful, enthusiastic and innocent character created to educate and entertain young children. Notable for being widely hated by manchildren who have nothing better to do than corrupt children's media to hide their own immaturity.
Lots of children got to meet Barney the Dinosaur yesterday.

Barney the Purple Dinosaur 

That guy in the purple suit who would always hang out behind our school and take my friends and I on magical adventures. He never stuck around too long because our parents would come looking for us afterwards, but he always reminded us that he "loves us."
We're meeting Barney the Purple Dinosaur after school so he can give us more of those "special hugs and kisses."

Barney the purple dinosaur 

Once you're seen hanging out with Barney the purple dinosaur, you might as well start going to school at home.
That was so courageous of the girl to lay low until graduation after the other kids at school talked shit about her best friend Barney the purple dinosaur. What kind of friend was she to Barney when he needed her to have his back, was he on his own after that?

Barney the purple dinosaur 

Someone you'd deny knowing if you were seen hanging out with him.
Girl- I told you, I dont know Barney the purple dinosaur!
Kids at school- We saw you hanging out with him, we know it was you!
Girl- It wasnt me! I'm getting homeschooled from now on, I don't need these losers, I'm awesome! My teddy bear told me I was so I know it's true! I dont give a fuck what anybody else thinks.

Barney the purple dinosaur 

Someone people would try to deny knowing if they were seen hanging out with him.
Girl- I dont know Barney the purple dinosaur!
Kids at school- We saw you hanging out with him, we know it was you!
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