At a Medium Pace

A fucked up, but very funny song by Adam Sandler from his 1993 album They're All Gonna Laugh at You!.

Lyrics:

Put your arms around me baby
Can't you see I need you so
Hold me close against your skin
I'm about to begin
Lovin' you

Spit on your hand and stroke my cock
At a medium pace
Play with my balls and tell me
How big they are
Honey, rub your beaver
Up and down my face
Sit on the corner of the bed
And watch me whack off

You see that shampoo bottle
Now stick it up my ass
Push it in and out
At a medium pace
Talk about your old boyfriend's dick
And how big it was
Now shave off my pubes
And punch me in the face
Whoa darlin'
Make me push my dick and balls
Back between my legs
Call me an ugly woman
And take my picture to show
All the people you work with

Now pull up my scrotum
And take the shampoo bottle
Out of my ass
Pretend I'm the pizza delivery guy
And watch me whack off

Strap on a dildo
And make me give you head
Tell me to slow down
And do it at a medium pace
I feel so humiliated
I'm about to blow my load
You tell me it's time to make love
But now I can't
'Cause I spewed all over myself
Then you look into my eyes
And you realize
How much I enjoy lovin' you
I'm so sorry I spunked on my stomach
Maybe next time I'll be better at lovin' you

Now spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace.

At a Medium Pace by ShakeSicle March 7, 2009

Get merch

Get the At a Medium Pace mug.

See more merch

Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace

The start of the second verse of "At A Medium Pace" by Adam Sandler

Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace
Play with my balls and tell me how big they are
Honey rub your beaver up and down my face
Sit on the corner of the bed and watch me whack off

You see that shampoo bottle
Now stick it up my ass
Push it in and out at a medium pace
Talk about your old boyfriend's dick and how big it was
Now shave off my pubs and punch me in the face

Oh darling, make me push my dick and balls
Back between my legs
Call me an ugly woman and take my picture
To show all the people you work with

Now pull up my scrotum
And take that shampoo bottle out of my ass
Pretend I'm the pizza delivery guy
And watch me whack off
Strap on a dildo and make me give you head
Tell me slow down and do it at a medium pace

Oh, I feel so humiliated
I'm about to blow my load
You tell it's time to make love
But now I can't 'cause I spewed all over myself
Then you look into my eyes, then you realize
How much I enjoy loving you
I'm so sorry I spunked on my stomach
Maybe next time I'll be better at loving you

Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace by Wicked Uncle Ernie November 15, 2022

Get merch

girl grip

The ability girls and women have developed to hold several items at once in one hand. The skill has been developed due to the lack of pockets in women's clothing.

I thought she'd need multiple trips to carry her phone, keys, wallet, and Starbucks to her car since she needed the other hand to open the door, but she used her impressive girl grip to carry everything in one hand.

girl grip by SillyMilly33 July 31, 2023

Word of the Day on July 21, 2026

Get merch

Condiment home

A term that refers to one persons household hold nothing but ingredients and condiments in the kitchen area

Person A: Hey dude you got some snacks?
Person B: Nah, i live in a fucking condiment home...

Condiment home by Nooneinparticularcapiche? July 18, 2026

Word of the Day on July 20, 2026

Get merch

bang a you-ee

of Massachusetts orig. "to make a u-turn"

hey, we missed the bar, bang a you-ee

bang a you-ee by Pistolero Pierro May 4, 2008

Word of the Day on July 19, 2026

Get merch

Fleg

The word 'flag' as pronounced by people with thick Belfast accents. The term is a perfect encapsulation of the disproportionate and overblown reaction to the removal of the Union Jack (as in 'de fleg') from above City Hall in Belfast. Where previously it had flown for 365 days per year, it is now flown on 17 designated days of the year - in line with many other British cities.

The event caused a portion of the Protestant community ('fleggers') to make international pricks of themselves as they proceeded to wreck the fucking place, claiming it was another erosion of a 'British' identity they perceive to have been under attack since the horrifying spectre of equality reared its head in Northern Ireland.

The word 'fleg' - and indeed 'fleggers' - fittingly describes a section of humanity unconcerned with knowledge, reality or the vagaries of the English language. Like America's tea-baggers they are ruled by instinct, fear and paranoia with a side dish of rampant bigotry and startling ignorance of the world around them.

"Wat de fuck like! The taigs got de fleg took down! Let's wreck de fuckin place! No surrender!"

"De fleg has been took down! Before ye know it there'll be a united Ireland! Attack Short Strand! God Save The Queen!"

Fleg by OnionFleg August 9, 2013

Word of the Day on July 18, 2026

Get merch

Skeef

To take something small, that doesn't quite qualify as a theft. Probably from the Danish "skæv" or the Dutch "scheef", both of which are pronounced similarly, meaning "askew, or not quite right'. To change an item's ownership without permission, but only something small and of little worth.

"I skeefed an apple off the neighbor's tree." "I skeefed some chips outta your bag when you looked away." "Don't skeef my chair when I go to the bathroom."

Skeef by kachinaflonk July 16, 2026

Word of the Day on July 17, 2026

Get merch