The problems one experiences when the food they have eaten does not "agree" With them. Often causing diarrhea, the runs, and gas. Made by combining "Issue" and "Ass".
After eating all that mexican food i'm having mad assues.

I was late for the meeting because i was stuck in the bathroom dealing with my assues.
by DJSCHWAZAY April 22, 2011
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(Contraction - Ass + Issues) An unfavorable or unpleasant state or condition of one's asshole. May be caused by Hemorrhoids, bad ass hygiene or that Habanero soaked enchilada from last night.
Dude, you got any Tucks, or Prep-H? I'm having some serious assues today.
by MaxfieldP June 21, 2006
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Any ass related problems or phobias.

State or manner of someone continuously being an asshole.
I have to go to the doctor. I'm having some assues.

My husband wants me to stick things up his butt. He's got some assues.
by Ashland_rox December 31, 2009
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This is when you take the 'me' out of the word 'assuming,' therefore eliminating yourself from the phrase "when you assume, you make an ass out of 'you' and 'me.'" This is only making an ass out of the other person.
Toby "I guarantee that you will get so drunk that you will pass out and get written on with permanent marker."

Jafar "Hey man, when you assume you are making an ass out of you and me!"

Toby "No, I'm assuing. I'm only making an ass out of you."
by dfash December 14, 2009
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Having to pull ones erect penis out of the lovers rectum to allow the lover to evacuate their vowels.
Had a great session going but Jaylo had to pull me out and run to the laverory and it was a real assus interruptus!
by March 06, 2017
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The cumulative anal damage if your partner goes and switches toilet paper brands on you, or you over-killed on the hot sauce the night before. The merge of the word Ass and Issues.
Ah man, why did she do it. We were out of toilet paper and she brought home the cheap brand. Now I got some serious Assues.

Damn that habanero sauce was killer!! Now I got some serious Assues.
by vikchop June 18, 2010
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