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anti-splash paper

1. A sheet or two of bog roll placed carefully so as to uniformly cover the surface of the water in the bowl of a toilet prior to dropping the kids off. Usually employed by those who do not enjoy the sudden cold, wet sensation on their ringpiece following displacement of water by a free-falling, splash-inducing turd.

2. Also used when a desperate bogward-rush to a public convenience results in the trousers coming down at the same time the turtle's head begins to appear and the discovery is made that some bastard left nessie waiting for you. Mitigates against the prospect that splashback will include someone elses faecal matter or piss. It is considered wise to favour more sheets in this scenario.
1. I had an absolute monster on the way and it was a cold morning so I opted for some anti-splash paper.

2. There was no holding it back, I had already locked the door and me kecks were round me ankles when I noticed a previous signature loitering in the pan. Anti-splash paper was the only way to keep it personal.
anti-splash paper by Herr Lip December 1, 2007
Related Words

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".
A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.
Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.
"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."
Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004

schmegegge 

Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.
I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
His version of the story was pure schmegegge.
The whole schmegegge was made up to get Liz a little bit of attention.
schmegegge by budsbabe February 1, 2008

eye bleach 

Looking or experiencing something nice after witnessing something horrid like a disgusting gif or a disturbing video. Typically used as eye bleach are nice images of whatever makes the disturbed person happy.
"Bleach my eyes! Why is that woman's face ripped off!?"
*Looks up images of puppies and kittens.*
"That's good eye bleach."
eye bleach by Rini2012 November 29, 2016
Noun. Portmanteau of "street" and "road": it describes a street, er, road, built for high speed, but with multiple access points. Excessive width is a common feature. A common feature in suburbia, especially along commercial strips. Unsafe at any speed, their extreme width and straightness paradoxically induces speeding. Somewhat more neutral than synonymous traffic sewer.
Did you see what the traffic engineers want to do to our street? They're going to turn it into a total stroad!
Stroad by hammersklavier February 21, 2012