The off-brand cousin of Indiana Jones who digs up “ancient relics” in junkyards and abandoned Walmarts. Instead of a whip, he carries a garden hose. Instead of a fedora, he wears a Bass Pro Shop hat.
Known for quotes like “It belongs in a Bass Pro Museum!” and “Snakes? I eat those for breakfast, son.” His idea of a hidden temple is an old Cracker Barrel with a suspicious basement.
Drives a rusty pickup named “The Ark of ‘Bama”, fights raccoons instead of Nazis, and once got cursed for stealing a haunted moonshine jug from a Civil War reenactment site.
Alabama James adventures include:
Alabama James and the Waffle House of Doom
Alabama James and the Lost Remote Control of Pawpaw
Alabama James and the Curse of the NASCAR Pharaoh
Has zero credentials, but says things like “Trust me, I majored in vibes.” Carries around a “holy relic” that’s just an unopened can of 1987 Tab cola.
Known for quotes like “It belongs in a Bass Pro Museum!” and “Snakes? I eat those for breakfast, son.” His idea of a hidden temple is an old Cracker Barrel with a suspicious basement.
Drives a rusty pickup named “The Ark of ‘Bama”, fights raccoons instead of Nazis, and once got cursed for stealing a haunted moonshine jug from a Civil War reenactment site.
Alabama James adventures include:
Alabama James and the Waffle House of Doom
Alabama James and the Lost Remote Control of Pawpaw
Alabama James and the Curse of the NASCAR Pharaoh
Has zero credentials, but says things like “Trust me, I majored in vibes.” Carries around a “holy relic” that’s just an unopened can of 1987 Tab cola.
by Anttonedodeson June 01, 2025