The OG Kennedy, aka the founding father of America's most cursed political dynasty. Millionaire banker, bootlegger (allegedly), Hollywood hustler, and U.S. ambassador to the UK who somehow thought appeasing Hitler was a chill idea. Basically if Logan Roy had a Boston accent and Catholic guilt.
Known for being rich, ruthless, and real shady, Joseph P. was the type of guy who made deals behind the scenes, told his kids to smile for the cameras, and then tried to run the world from a dark oak-paneled study.
Secret antisemitic vibes? Yeah… definitely not so secret. The dude was openly saying things like “democracy is finished in England” and praising fascist regimes while Jews were being persecuted. Got pulled from his ambassador job because he was out here acting like Neville Chamberlain’s hype man on steroids.
Father of JFK, RFK, and Teddy, but also lobotomized his daughter Rosemary because she was “too independent.” Family man? More like Game of Thrones: Massachusetts edition.
Known for being rich, ruthless, and real shady, Joseph P. was the type of guy who made deals behind the scenes, told his kids to smile for the cameras, and then tried to run the world from a dark oak-paneled study.
Secret antisemitic vibes? Yeah… definitely not so secret. The dude was openly saying things like “democracy is finished in England” and praising fascist regimes while Jews were being persecuted. Got pulled from his ambassador job because he was out here acting like Neville Chamberlain’s hype man on steroids.
Father of JFK, RFK, and Teddy, but also lobotomized his daughter Rosemary because she was “too independent.” Family man? More like Game of Thrones: Massachusetts edition.
Joseph P. Kennedy Sr. made a fortune, raised a bunch of future politicians, and still somehow fumbled the bag by talking too much about Hitler.
by Anttonedodeson June 1, 2025
Get the Joseph P. Kennedy Sr.mug. by Anttonedodeson June 7, 2025
Get the December 25mug. by Anttonedodeson March 2, 2025
Get the John Fitzgerald Kennedymug. by Anttonedodeson February 6, 2025
Get the IRAmug. by Anttonedodeson July 7, 2025
Get the J wordmug. William, Prince of Wales
(noun)
The dude who’s been first in line for the British throne since dinosaurs roamed the Earth (or like, since he was born in 1982). Known for his hairline slowly retreating like British troops at Dunkirk, but also for being the "responsible royal" who drinks tea, waves politely, and doesn’t cause tabloid meltdowns every 5 minutes.
Kate Middleton’s husband, which basically makes him the guy living every British mom’s fairy tale dream. Together they’re the royal power couple who dress their kids like it’s still 1947.
Prince Harry’s older brother, which automatically means he’s the "boring" one in royal fanfiction. He's the “you’re gonna be king one day, so no funny business” sibling, while Harry ran off to California to vibe and podcast.
Sometimes referred to as "Wills"—not to be confused with wills that give you inheritance, though he probably has like 47 of those too.
(noun)
The dude who’s been first in line for the British throne since dinosaurs roamed the Earth (or like, since he was born in 1982). Known for his hairline slowly retreating like British troops at Dunkirk, but also for being the "responsible royal" who drinks tea, waves politely, and doesn’t cause tabloid meltdowns every 5 minutes.
Kate Middleton’s husband, which basically makes him the guy living every British mom’s fairy tale dream. Together they’re the royal power couple who dress their kids like it’s still 1947.
Prince Harry’s older brother, which automatically means he’s the "boring" one in royal fanfiction. He's the “you’re gonna be king one day, so no funny business” sibling, while Harry ran off to California to vibe and podcast.
Sometimes referred to as "Wills"—not to be confused with wills that give you inheritance, though he probably has like 47 of those too.
"William, Prince of Wales, is like if your dad got a crown and had to smile through awkward public handshakes for the rest of his life."
by Anttonedodeson June 1, 2025
Get the William, Prince Of Walesmug. The off-brand cousin of Indiana Jones who digs up “ancient relics” in junkyards and abandoned Walmarts. Instead of a whip, he carries a garden hose. Instead of a fedora, he wears a Bass Pro Shop hat.
Known for quotes like “It belongs in a Bass Pro Museum!” and “Snakes? I eat those for breakfast, son.” His idea of a hidden temple is an old Cracker Barrel with a suspicious basement.
Drives a rusty pickup named “The Ark of ‘Bama”, fights raccoons instead of Nazis, and once got cursed for stealing a haunted moonshine jug from a Civil War reenactment site.
Alabama James adventures include:
Alabama James and the Waffle House of Doom
Alabama James and the Lost Remote Control of Pawpaw
Alabama James and the Curse of the NASCAR Pharaoh
Has zero credentials, but says things like “Trust me, I majored in vibes.” Carries around a “holy relic” that’s just an unopened can of 1987 Tab cola.
Known for quotes like “It belongs in a Bass Pro Museum!” and “Snakes? I eat those for breakfast, son.” His idea of a hidden temple is an old Cracker Barrel with a suspicious basement.
Drives a rusty pickup named “The Ark of ‘Bama”, fights raccoons instead of Nazis, and once got cursed for stealing a haunted moonshine jug from a Civil War reenactment site.
Alabama James adventures include:
Alabama James and the Waffle House of Doom
Alabama James and the Lost Remote Control of Pawpaw
Alabama James and the Curse of the NASCAR Pharaoh
Has zero credentials, but says things like “Trust me, I majored in vibes.” Carries around a “holy relic” that’s just an unopened can of 1987 Tab cola.
by Anttonedodeson June 1, 2025
Get the Alabama Jamesmug.