A member of The Lonely Island, a comedy troupe that currently works on Saturday Night Live, Akiva Schaffer writes Saturday Night Live's Digital Shorts along with Jorma Taccone. They usually have third Lonely Island member Andy Samberg as the star. Akiva Schaffer directed The Lonely Island's film: Hot Rod, and has driected a number of music videos for We Are Scientists and Eagles of Death Metal, and more, as well as SNL's digital shorts. Akiva seems to be the least known and recognized member of The Lonely Island, though he has many fans and admirers. He is also called Kiv.

Ryan:"Hey did you know Akiva Schaffer directed that one We Are Scientists music video?"

Steven: "You mean Kiv from The Lonely Island?"

Ryan:"Yeah!"

Steven:"Wow that's awesome!"

Chloe: "Kiv is so dreamy."

Akiva Schaffer by SobriquetLemonade August 31, 2009

akivascheme

A completely ridiculous, unrealistic and rather hair-brained idea that will get you nowhere in the business world regardless of how enthusiastic your superior may be when dictating it to you. In fact, it gets you three steps behind in what you were actually doing.

My boss called me on my day off and asked me to call 10 major banks from 10 different cities and tell them to sponsor us with $10k each, then buy 100 raffles tickets each, promote us in their mailing, and in return we'd put little mentions of the banks on the flyers for our fair.....man...it was such an akivascheme"

akivascheme by Billy Bad Breaks July 20, 2009

Pulling an Akiva

Being a lazy shit. Also, staying home every summer and playing tennis instead of getting a job. Being a huge loser as well as a jackass.

Goddamnitt Jon, stop pulling an Akiva and get off your ass and do something!

Everyone went to the party except Jamal who decided to pull an Akiva and stay home by himself.

Pulling an Akiva by Young Weezy Carter July 5, 2012

akivia

Akivia goes with the flow, enjoys socializing with good people, and is loyal to a friend as a star is to a stripe. She will always tell it like it is and doesn’t mince words. There’s no question of knowing you’re right or wrong when you’re in the presence of Akivia. She loves herself, loves others, and loves having a great time. Akivia loves to travel, experiences the world, and enjoys exotic men. She can be wholly ratchet and elegant at the same time. Give her a six pack, six kisses, and six examples of love, and Akivia will give you six lifetimes of love, loyalty, and happiness.

Bruh, you feeling betrayed? You need Akivia in your life. She is loyal AF.

akivia by Globe Traveler June 27, 2020

Akiva

A complete and utter genius who deserves every girl he goes for and should be allowed to screw the sexy teachers at school

Akiva is a total DON

Akiva by kiwi69 October 14, 2012

You met me at a very Chinese time in my life

A moment in time where you feel distinctly Chinese over all other things.

Dante: "I wish I could be Nigerian, but I can't because I'm Chinese. You met me at a very Chinese time in my life."

You met me at a very Chinese time in my life by Sus Chad September 21, 2026

Word of the Day on September 25, 2026

crunchy

Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

Modified derivative of granola.

"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"

crunchy by EBC July 11, 2007

Word of the Day on September 24, 2026

Galantir

A group of people, typically women, searching through someone’s digital footprint in order to find more information about that person.

Susie wasn’t sure if her new Hinge match was a creep, so she assembled Galantir and they found out he used to post slurs on gaming forums.

Galantir by Ge-sus September 22, 2026

Word of the Day on September 23, 2026

murderhobo

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.

DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.

murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021

Word of the Day on September 22, 2026

Whale

In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.

"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."

Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020

Word of the Day on September 21, 2026