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Assistant

A modern day slave. A person who does all of his/her spaz-attack boss’ dirty work.

When receiving orders simply smiles and says “Yes sir,” “Yes ma’m,” and “not a problem, I’ll get started on it right away,” but really would like to say “you want me to do what?,” “are you freak'n kidding me, can't you see I’m still working on the last “project” you gave me?,” and “why the hell can’t you do that yourself.”

When turning in work says “it was my pleasure,” “not a problem,” and “let me know if there is anything else I can do for you,” but would really like to say “here’s the shit you wanted,” “next time get it yourself,” and “if you come into my office one more time…”
Boss to assistant: I need you to do W, Y and Z now.

Assistant: "Yes sir/ma'm, right away master. Would you like to me to polish your ass while I'm at it?"
by Lonely Assistant August 3, 2012
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assistant

the opposite hand used for masturbation; the hand that often holds a tissue, towel, or sock.
the skin on my assistant hand is softer than the skin on my right hand..
by Words4Thoughts November 4, 2011
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assistant

A modern day slave. A person who has no life of their own and insist on serving others like a cheap whore with no backbone. Some whores are more expensive then others but still all of them lack backbones. A position for employment that requires little to no dignity.
While wiping my ass, my assistant went upwards and not down so I bitch slapped my assistant. Moses freed many assistants from Egypt then parted the Red Sea.
by Jedi Masterbater May 13, 2006
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assistant

This word says it all. Ass is tant.
I'm a lab assistant.
by hieulai2002 March 19, 2008
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Assistant TO the Regional Manager

when you work for michael scott and are the leading salesman at dunder mifflin paper companies in scranton and your name is dwight schrute--==that is what your title is



not to be confused with ASSISTANT REGIONAL MANAGER
dwight "Assistant the Regional Manager"
michael "no,it's Assistant TO the Regional Manager"
dwight "its the same thing"
michael "no, its lower"
by th is ism y rl ealnam August 11, 2008
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Assistant Principal

Always assuming that people do things, despite lack of credible evidence to support it. They also have a real talent in sticking their noses where they aren't necessary, usually to provoke problems that weren't there before.
The Assistant Principal is inept at proving his point.
The Assistant Principal's job is to try to find something to suspend you for
The Assistant Principal's sole purpose is to administrate whereas the Principal's sole purpose is to represent
by anna bn April 9, 2009
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assistant regional manager

not dwight schrute. if you were looking for the position of dwight schrute at dunder mifflin scranton from 2005-2013, look for "assistant TO the regional manager"
Dwight: I am the assistant regional manager.
Jim: Assistant TO the regional manager
by mohantypower August 6, 2014
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