Martyrbation

A combination of Martyr and masturbation. Used to refer to people (usually christian Americans) who pretend to be persecuted despite being a majority. Usually martyrbators will talk about hypothetical situations in which their religion or ideology becomes illegal or otherwise banned by the government.

Bob posted on face book him pretending to take a mugshot saying "when Christianity becomes illegal". He lives in the middle of Tennessee this is just martyrbation.

by Ivan the ok May 12, 2022

masturbation

Finley Doyle's favorite active

finely just had masturbation session

by finster May 16, 2022

masturbationism

The ancient art of masturbating, reached to its peak level.

John: hey Reddie.
Reddie: I have mastered the art of masturbation. that I have reached masturbationism.
john: aight cuh.

by calatation July 13, 2022

Maskterbation

A form of masturbating in which masky is summoned upon finishing.

Chris: "Yo what the fuck are you doing?? Stop that??"

Mathias: "Doing it -- mnghh- - publicly --- is the only way to perform -- uhhhh -- Maskterbation! WOAH!"

Masky: "Yo wsp"

by MASKYTASKY July 19, 2022

masturbation escape plan

This is the plan you make when you have limited time to jerk it. Especially applicable when someone living with you may return at any moment, or could walk in on you. Its having the cursor over the x , having something to cover your junk quickly, having another tab to click to etc. How to cover up the fact you were j-ing off quickly if someone were to come in.

Bro my girl was supposed to be gone all day and she came back early and caught me beating my meat. I fucked up not having a masturbation escape plan.

by Mcgwicko August 31, 2022

Masterbating roulette

When a group of men sit around in a circle, they all throw a dice, the amount rolled onto the dice is the amount of jerking off you have to do. The last one to cum wins

"Hey guys, do you wanna play masterbating roulette"

"Yeah, someone should get a dice

by thegayestnays.com November 7, 2022

Masturbation

When one fondles their groin until cum explodes out

Jake had nothing to do and he lived alone so he grabbed his laptop and some lotion. Jake ran to his bedroom. He took his pants off and got under the covers. He put the laptop next to himself and put porn on. He spread the lotion on his hands and started the masturbation process. He got hard instantly and rubbed the lotion on his penis for 5 minutes. Cum came flying out. His covers were ruined. Jack didn't care, he kept going, until he heard a knock on the door. His girlfriend came over with condoms and dildos.

"Sarah don't come in yet!" Jack yelled.

Sarah came in anyway to the sight of Jack masturbating. Sarah lifted her top.

"Bite it off!" Sarah said whilst showing her tits to Jack.
The strange man bit Sarah's bra off and sucked on her tits like there was no tomorrow. Sarah took her pants off and shoved Jack's penis in her vagina and shoved the dildo in her ass. 30 minutes later they're both sleeping doggy style.

by cbgfyfhuddddddbvkfegiyyyyyyyyy April 1, 2023