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jackin' the beanstalk

Euphemism for masturbation. Combines a verbal allusion (jacking off) with a classic literary allusion (Jack and the Beanstalk).

Variant: "jacking the beanstalk" This variant makes use of the full, proper gerund suffix of ing - making it the preferred usage form in public and at formal gatherings, including at work, holiday and family celebrations, and when talking with grandparents, priests, co-workers, neighbors, and medical professionals such as doctors and nurses.
Ex: I don't know why Eriq doesn't lock his door; this is the 10th time I've walked in on him while he was hunched over the computer jackin' the beanstalk.

Ex. She's out of town, so I've taken matters into my own hands and been jackin' the beanstalk like a shedevil in heat.
by JNinWeHo November 6, 2022
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Packing the beans

A 5 star sexual move between male and female or male and male, where the male puts his hard penis and testicles into the receiving females or males ass cavity. This act is typically done after anal sex so as to have already stretched out the receivers asshole. I would not recommend this act be practiced by those not experienced in anal play or stretch training.
Damn yo!! Last night I was packing the beans in that bitch, I thought my nuts were going to be crushed, she so tight!!
by Wett noodle June 23, 2023
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Leon my beans

It's been 105 days. His girlfriend broke up with him, I tried helping him through it but only four days after she broke up with him I blurted out that I still love him and how I hate myself for it. He tried to be nice but I know I've gone and ruined things all over again. I miss him so much.
Leon, could you please get my beans?....Leon! Leon my beans !!!
by The_girl_he_lost September 8, 2023
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Billy Corgan Toe Beans

Person one: Y'know.. You kinda remind me of some Billy Corgan Toe Beans.
Person two: That's so friendly.
by Eclipse's behind :D October 8, 2023
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Don’t put yourself in a situation you aren’t prepared for.
Person 1: *eats 10 edibles in 5 minutes * *dies*

Person 2: “If you can’t smell the beans, don’t swim in the crockpot!”
by Bootyboy303 May 28, 2019
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I shoved a tin of heinz beans up my bumhole

When you shove a tin of Heinz beans up your ass for fun or pleasure.
Hey man, I shoved a tin of Heinz beans up my bumhole yesterday!
No way man that's crazy!
by Ikickcats September 27, 2022
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A guy that refills totems/aids a second after a battle begins

A guy that refills totems/aids a second after a battle begins
A guy that refills totems/aids a second after a battle begins
by moooomoooo_ November 6, 2020
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