Condom

A very useful invention that is used by responsible people in an attempt to protect oneself from unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmited diseases. Usually feel like you are "being intimate" with a plastic bag between the parteners

"Did you hear," Scott didn't wear a condom and he got Sarah pregnant!"

by ss_cope July 11, 2008

Condoms

Something we need in order to not become pregnant

Boy-Baby how are you pregnant oh wait it's because we didn't use a condoms

Girl- because we didn't use a condom

by Xmsbrightsidex December 25, 2014

Condom

Something that might've killed you years and years ago

Father: I wish i used a damn condom, Now i have a mistake right infront of me.

by My big black ass August 10, 2017

Condom

Ending world hunger one load at a time.

I knew I should have bought those condoms! Damn kids are hungry again.

by free_writer15 December 26, 2013

Condoming

To use a condom in manner that does not involve blocking sperm from getting to the egg. This could involve any way of creatively exploring the many uses of a condom including, but not limited to hot air balloons, dental dams, water fights, bag stuffing, suffocation, throwing in a humorous manner, sliding under the door of a person's room while they are getting it on - super on, using as throwing stars, socks, garden gloves, food storage, the thing that holds that goldfish from the fair - but dies anyway, etc. Superman has the ability to spray them out of his eyes (one of his less widely known abilities), thus creating a wall of impermeable substance that flusters his enemies to the point of premature ejaculation. All of this falls under the category of Condoming.

Damn you Superman and your condoming capabilities! My pants are now soiled beyond repair and my reputation with the fabled female is even worse off than it was before.

by Don Alejandro Castello October 5, 2009

condom

dorm room decoration

dude awsome condom lighting around the table

by elliot case April 11, 2007

Condom

A rubber glove for the dick so girls and guys can feel safe during intercoarse

Mark : Oh Kaylee you pussy is so soft Ahhh! Mmmmm!
Kaylee : Will you quit rubbing it and fuck it already!
Mark : Gee you don't have to be such a bitch I am paying you!
Kaylee : Just put the damn Condom on and do your business!
Mark : Uh about that I don't have a Condom do you have one?
Kaylee : WHAT! Your the one with the dick Oh god just fuck me without one!
Mark : Ok ill be sure to pull out Ohh! Ohh! Ohh! Oh Kaylee your pussy is so beautiful I love your hairy bush!
Kaylee : Yada! Yada! Yada! Just fuck and keep you mouth shut!
Mark : Here it cum's! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Uhh Oops!
Kaylee : Oops What The Fuck Did You Do?
Mark : Oh nothing we better get back to work!
Kaylee : You came in me that's gonna cost you another $100!
Mark : Uh about that I have no money right now sorry!
Kiersten : WHAT THE HELL IS GOIN ON IN HERE!
Mark : Oh nothing me and Kaylee was just looking for a mop!
Kaylee : No Mark offered to pay me $250 for a fuck he didn't have a Condom so he came in me now he owes me $350!
Kiersten : Well he has $500 and a Condom in his wallet!
Kaylee : Great ill take the $500 and he can keep the Condom!
Kiersten : Hey if you are ovulating I can get you a lot more let's go see my lawyer!
Kaylee : Awesome I would love to have his mustang and big fancy house!
Mark : GOD DAMN'T NOT AGAIN! WHY! WHY! WHY!
Steve : Oh Mark you shouldn't be such a Condom horder they are made to use not save! (wink)
Mark : SHUT THE HELL UP YOU FUCKTARD! (GRRRRR)

by SlopNChop November 5, 2018