Absent Money

Noun describing a lack of money, and/or state of debt.

Jack: Hey man, want to go downtown and buy some CDs?
Sherman: Aw, sorry man, I can't. I have so much absent money it's not even laughable.

by hindenburg II March 21, 2010

arsecrisps

Arsecrisps. A Problem that usually occurs during those hot summer months. It involves sweat dripping between your arse cheeks and drying out, generally causing chaffing around the ring piece thus making you fell as though your arsehole has just eaten a packet of crisps,

My bum is so sore it feels like I've been eating a bag of arsecrisps.

by Buggermint Brady November 23, 2013

assecution

To conquer/destroy an ass in a sexual or violent way.

The pornographic film we stole from my dad's desk had an assecution scene.

by Legionlovesllamas April 14, 2015

absent-minded professor

The very intelligent are sometimes preoccupied with weighty matters (as they suppose) insomuch that they forget about more prosaic matters -- such as remembering keys, wallet, phone, appointments, etc.

The teacher showed up in class, on time -- but forgot it was Tuesday, not Wednesday -- and was halfway through the lecture before the absent-minded professor realized he was teaching the wrong subject matter. On the plus side, I understand Einstein's Theory of Relativity a lot better than I did. I hope it shows up on our Physical Science 101 exams...

by 1ightsaber June 7, 2021

The Absentia Lardum Effect

The overwhelming sensation to consume bacon when the body witnesses something so utterly bland, tasteless, or otherwise unappealing.

I was walking past a vegan restaurant one day when I was suddenly overcome by the Absentia Lardum Effect. I immediately proceeded to the nearest fast food chain for a double bacon cheeseburger.

by Verosumatic October 5, 2016

Absentee Fan

An absentee fan is someone who claims to be a huge fan of a sport and/or a team. This person will own a ton of apparel for said sport/team, and watch sportscenter for highlights of that sport/team often. However, this person will never, ever watch actual games of said sport/team, and they will never be emotionally affected by the outcome of that sport/team.

One person may be an absentee fan of multiple sports and multiple teams.

John: Hey Steve, we are all going to watch the Yankees ALDS game at Rick's house tonight, do you want to come?

Steve: Sorry man, I wanted to catch up on some cleaning tonight. Maybe next time. I'll just watch the highlights on sportscenter. I hope the Yankees win though.

Rick (after Steve leaves): Don't worry John, Steve is just an absentee fan.

by Yanksrule56 June 4, 2010

Abseiling

The male act of masturbating your pork sword whilst slyly fingering your own bum hole. Its has an uncanny resemblance to the mountaineering activity of abseiling.

fellow 1: Dad?!!?? what are you doing?
fellow 2: Son, Im abseiling.
fellow 1: I can see that. but why in my room??

by DuncanH June 25, 2009