When your parents explain to you what cancer is

We all remember that day when we learned what cancer was, but my parents in particular did excruciatingly well telling me that half of my mom's side of the family had cancer and that they were going to eventually die. In fact, I think she first told us(me and my brother), at the ripe age of 4 and 2, that our grandma had stage 3 breast cancer and was going to die. She didn't even tell us what cancer was, for fuck's sake. And the consequence of that was me going on for another 8 years thinking cancer was instant death and that different parts of your body could get it.... Like, what the fuck? And then turns out my Grandpa had prostate cancer, so that was fun, but not as lethal. Another one of my great-uncles had ball cancer AND lung cancer. I can only pray that I don't share any of their fates, but I think one of the reasons she escaped it was because she went to med school. Definitely not me, so I can only hope.

Mother: Son, your grandma is going to die.
Son, crying: What?! Why??
Mother, in a perfectly calm face like this happens to her all the time: Cancer.

Son, noticing her lack of caring: Fuck you. Goodnight forever.
results of when your parents explain to you what cancer is

by PORGSSSS October 17, 2023

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by Retard_Ryan November 1, 2022

Bum cancer

Cancer of the bum. Otherwise known as Colon cancer, or in general cases, any bum related injury. Piercing a bum cancer tumour can lead to potentially fatal bum AIDS.

Katie: I think I have bum cancer. My ass is bleeding.
Me: You do not have the bum cancer, you ass.

Katie: I hurt my ass:(
Me: What's that I hear? BUM CANCER?! You have bum cancer?! Ergh.

by Kirstylovesthebum January 16, 2008

Cancer Burrito

A spicy red burrito which contains 700 calories of processed beef and will give anyone who consumes it the major shits. Cancer burritos should be consumed no more than once a week at the very most and should not be consumed at all if possible. Symptoms of the cancer burrito include: massive shits, constipation, stomach pains, sudden weight gain, addiction to the burrito and sudden decrease of the senses.

Josh: Dude why did you just get a cancer burrito!
David: I'm addicted to them now, if I dont have one I start to get withdrawls.
Josh: o0o0o0o0o0o0o DEADLY!
David: You know it!

by FRISKET July 28, 2008

chanter

1. The pipe on all of the bagpipes in the world that has the finger holes on it.

2. For the Scottish Highland bagpipes/Irish Warpipes, the chanter (or practice chanter) is used to learn the basics before taking on the full instrument.

1. The chanter on the Highland pipes sounds close to that of the Spanish Gaita.

2. One must never stop playing the practice chanter as long as they play the pipes.

by Erik August 17, 2004

changer

"Changer" (pronounced "shaynjaa") is an expression widely used in east-germany (mainly Saxony) by teens which are really really really (and I can not stress this out enough) really bored. It is mainly used when just anything around the user changes, and since everything is relative, as Einstein said, everything changes all the time, thus this expression can be used all the time. It is preferable, however, using it when something noticeable changes, not when something unimportant changes (see example 2) because if you do, everyone will hate you.
The word is quite popular, should however not be abused...

1)
Fred: You noticed? Seems like Missy there lost a few pounds.
Alfred: Changer!

2)
Fred: Pst...whats the answer to number 5?
Alfred: CHANGER!
Fred: Lick my shiny shaved balls...

by Frostie_Bandit June 13, 2008

bracket cancer

What you get when teams that you projected to go far in the NCAA tournament lose early on.

I got a bad case of bracket cancer after Vermont knocked off Syracuse.

by Hakim March 18, 2005