poopy hands

The act of pooping and not washing your hands before leaving the restroom, then rubbing your hands on another persons face while announcing that you indeed have poopy hands. Usually immediately followed by the antagonist singing the poopy hands song.

Adam: Hey Grant, guess what?
Grant: What?
Adam: gently caresses Grant's face I just went to the restroom and I have poopy hands! Oh you love poopy hands, poopy hands on your face.

by gmoney422 May 20, 2016

Naughty Hand

One's dominate or preferred hand used to masturbate and self-gratify.

I need to wash my naughty hand. My fingers are sticky.

My naughty hand is numb after ten hours of watching internet porn.

Your mom showed me what she likes to do with her naughty hand.

by Eaton Holgoode April 18, 2017

short hand

a meaningless promise of support

this isn't a short hand surprise

by dbo35 January 17, 2009

penis hand

when one touches their penis and scrotum with their hand and then wipes it on another's face

Brown Starr just gave Betsy penis hand.

by Walter Jenkins March 2, 2010

shit handed

The result of seated ass wiping, especially when combined with a crumpling paper strategy, as opposed to the equally popular fold, wipe and release or civilised method. Wiping done seated with a tilt and using the crumple method is dangerous, unsteady and frowned upon. Thus, it often results in shit residue reaching the hand, fingers, or cuff.

My loud ass boss came into the bathroom to piss and moan, so i hunkered and opted for the seated wipe and crumpling of paper so as not to draw his attention. While leaning to my left i momentarily lost my balance and bearings and inadvertently shit handed myself. I was not pleased, as i had recently eaten corn.

by mstephenfeeley December 26, 2007

4 Hand

A massage by two girls (or guys).

Tina and Molly gave me a great 4 hand.

by fbpz1144 December 30, 2011

Dry Handed

When someone comes out of the bathroom and sees you for the first time of the night, feels the need to be polite and shakes your hand. The problem is it's completey dry. It should still be slightly wet from the washing process. You just got dry handed!

It was a tough night at work. I hung out too close to the the restroom and got dry handed three times. Thank God I brought my Purell.

by Orange Mullet January 13, 2007