staining porcelain

stocking the pond, dropping the kids off at the pool, etc. slang phrase for deification

Where's john... oh he's out staining porcelain

by mormdavid April 24, 2009

virtue-purchase

Similar to virtue signalling but done by means of buying trendy goods or services so as to display one's sense of contrived self-superiority: items such as books by politically correct authors, garish artwork purported to save rain-forests, or FairTrade coffee that makes the buyer feel woke; faddishly leftist buying habits that conform to intersectionality and other expressions of socially popular SJW pseudoscience, especially popular among university students.

Asheleigh-Meghan isn't going to actually read Michelle Obama's new book. She just bought it to put on the coffee table in case one of her black classmates shows up unexpectedly. It's more of a virtue-purchase.

by Father Hollywood December 4, 2018

fifty percent chance I fuck your wife

Refers to a situation upon which there is a statistically binary outcome in the opportunity to have sex with an attractive married woman.

Person A - How do I know if there's a fifty percent chance I fuck your wife?
Person B - It's cool with me as long as it's cool with her and I'm allowed to watch!

by iMonkeyBIZ February 9, 2020

Pitty Purchasing

A secret form of manipulation commonly used by 4-14 year olds to get what they want. They often use this after receiving bad news, going to do or have just done something hard, or after doing something good. They use pitty as a good excuse to buy or do something that they would normally not be able to do or buy otherwise.

-Moooommmmmm, the dentist really hurt!!! Can we go to the toy store?
-No.
-Please........... It really hurts...............Owwwww.......
-No.

2 minutes later

-I'm sorry for being so annoying.... I'm over it....Owwwww.
-Would you stop trying to get me to do pitty purchasing. And we didn't even go to the dentist, you got a haircut.
-Awkward....

by sportsdude88 March 16, 2010

parcel farce

Slang term for package delivery company Parcel Force. 'Farce' refering to the uselessness of their service.

Parcel Farce left my bloody package out in the rain again

by norman156 February 18, 2008

pray to the porcelain god

*Idiom*

The state of a drunken person who is vomiting into a toilet (porcelain orifice) or incapacitated and nauseated to the point of being unable to get up off the floor after vomiting in the bathroom.

Last time I got drunk I had to pray to the porcelain god all night.

by bisque October 26, 2010

And then a hobo walked out, burst into flames, and gave me a free refrigerator with a purchase of five dollars or more

What you say at the end of a lame story, or during an awkward silence. Can be used instead of "and then I found 20 dollars" or "and that's why you never milk an ostrich"

Alana: So... I was walking yesterday, and I saw a llama. He looked at me, and then he fell asleep. So I went home because I was tired. And then I went to sleep. When I woke up it was 7:00 so I went to school

Amy:...

Alana: And then a hobo walked out, burst into flames, and gave me a free refrigerator with a purchase of five dollars or more

by TheGreatKateWeatherMachine October 30, 2011