hand-job

When a girl of if you are gay, a guy jerks you off my simply rubbing their hand all over your dick and you feel this really good feeling when it happens

WOW THAT WAS A NIIIIIICE HAND-JOB

by pseudonym ツ October 20, 2020

Naughty Hand

One's dominate or preferred hand used to masturbate and self-gratify.

I need to wash my naughty hand. My fingers are sticky.

My naughty hand is numb after ten hours of watching internet porn.

Your mom showed me what she likes to do with her naughty hand.

by Eaton Holgoode April 18, 2017

poopy hands

The act of pooping and not washing your hands before leaving the restroom, then rubbing your hands on another persons face while announcing that you indeed have poopy hands. Usually immediately followed by the antagonist singing the poopy hands song.

Adam: Hey Grant, guess what?
Grant: What?
Adam: gently caresses Grant's face I just went to the restroom and I have poopy hands! Oh you love poopy hands, poopy hands on your face.

by gmoney422 May 20, 2016

Sawyer's Handful

A quantity suggestive of fewer than five, or a short handful.

Derived from the concept of a lumber-mill worker’s (sawyer’s) hand often missing a finger and so less able to hold as much as a whole hand.

Being moody and obnoxious, Scott had only a sawyer's handful of friends.

by Bilham May 14, 2010

halo hands

A series of unsightly abrasions to the hands and wrists as a result of frequent contact with a hard surface such as a wall or floor. Commonly found in people with short tempers or Halo 3.

Bob: "Dammit dude I died again!!" (smashes ground)

Jimmy: "You should really learn to control your temper: your hand's lookin pretty bad"

Bob: "Yup, the doc says I got halo hands and theres no known cure... Now shut the fuck up and let me play!" (dies again)

Bob: (Towards tv monitor) "You fucking faggot, I was arguing with this deuche sitting next to me!!!"(pounds tv monitor)CRUNCH!!!!....

Bob: Oh fuck, I broke the tv. I've really gotta get some help for this."

by MR. AWESOME!!! March 17, 2008

shit handed

The result of seated ass wiping, especially when combined with a crumpling paper strategy, as opposed to the equally popular fold, wipe and release or civilised method. Wiping done seated with a tilt and using the crumple method is dangerous, unsteady and frowned upon. Thus, it often results in shit residue reaching the hand, fingers, or cuff.

My loud ass boss came into the bathroom to piss and moan, so i hunkered and opted for the seated wipe and crumpling of paper so as not to draw his attention. While leaning to my left i momentarily lost my balance and bearings and inadvertently shit handed myself. I was not pleased, as i had recently eaten corn.

by mstephenfeeley December 26, 2007

short hand

a meaningless promise of support

this isn't a short hand surprise

by dbo35 January 17, 2009