Teleshopping

Channels dedicated to pointless gadgets you will never need, unbelievably fake photoshopped images, patronizing rhetorical questions and the worst actors on the face of the earth.

Teleshopping:

**HEY! Are you a fat loser with no friends?**

Guy at home: No.

**Then you need,THE FAT-BUSTER-CARDIO-CRUNCHER-ABS-BUILDER-FRIEND-FINDER 3000! It was £300 but you can get now for just £299.99!
Just Call: 0800-IMAFATLOSERWITHNOFRIENDSANDNEEDTHEFATBUSTERCARDIOCRUNCHERABSBUILDERFRIENDFINDER3000PLS Terms and conditions apply batteries not included.**

by Ashleyy(: February 20, 2009

telescoping

to masturbate into a tube and then ejaculate through the tube into someones eye

i was banging this bird last night. grabbed a toilet roll tube and proceeded in some telescoping

by luvchild1 September 22, 2009

Tellyclapper

Liverpool fan who says they cant get a ticket for the game so they go the pub and clap at the tv.

That Liverpool fan says he cant get a ticket for the game. How come people from Norway and Devon can? He's a liar he just doesnt try and is a Tellyclapper.

by Go the game blue August 27, 2009

telesex

Telephone sex. Having sex with telephone.

I'm having telesex in the public telephone.

by SandaimeSpaceMan February 24, 2008

orgasmic telepathy

n. Communication by means other than through the normal senses capable of achieving high levels of sexual stimulation in the opposite sex that utilizes techniques similar to the vulcan's mind meld or aquaman's aquatic telepathy. Orgasmic telepathy, when mastered, is a great way to get women to do your bidding (sort of like aquaman controls fishies and other sea creatures)

How did you get Buffy to let you copy her homework?
I used orgasmic telepathy, she let out a pleasant grin and just handed over the goods.

by nick February 16, 2006

teletubbies

4 unspecified beasts created by some person fucked up on LSD, there are 2 male telitubbies Tiny-Winky and La-la and 2 female Po and Dipsy, often accompanied by a vacuum cleaner with a pathetic drug induced name and a sun with a babys face. if your not a baby then youve gotta be a regular pothead and/or acidhead to watch yet alone understand this show

JEFF: dude, ive been dropping acis at riverbank - Might watch some teletubbies
BRIAN: wait dude, your like 21 years old, why watch the teletubbies?
JEFF: Cos im fucked out on acid and its the only show i understand.

by Brother Number One July 4, 2005

Black Entertainment Television

Commonly Confused with Court TV because they tend to show all the same people.

Hey I was watching R. Kelly's new video on Black Entertainment Television while he was being arraigned on Court TV for pissing on chicks.

by Brodie Bruce January 18, 2005