The act of ejaculating into your own hand and punching the very unfortunate victim by surprise in the face, usually resulting in them being knocked unconscious. Can also be referred to as "the handfull haymaker, cum crippler, semen slap, or the brick bop."
Dude 1: "holy shit man, did u hear about jacob?"
Dude 2: "uh..no, what's the haps?"
Dude 1: "oh damn, last night he was makin a hot pocket when out of nowhere he gets jizz jacked, it was tight yo!"
Mom: "daaaannny! Did cocoa shit on the carpet agaaain?!"
Son: "yeah..but its totally fine now, that bitch ass mutt got jizz jacked!"
Dude 2: "uh..no, what's the haps?"
Dude 1: "oh damn, last night he was makin a hot pocket when out of nowhere he gets jizz jacked, it was tight yo!"
Mom: "daaaannny! Did cocoa shit on the carpet agaaain?!"
Son: "yeah..but its totally fine now, that bitch ass mutt got jizz jacked!"
by whack_sauce19 January 29, 2010
An event in which men run a certain distance(varies) while jacking off along the way, thus jizzing all over the place.
guy one: dude how did the jizz-a-thon go?
guy two: it was great man, I jizzed at least 5 times in 2 miles.
guy two: it was great man, I jizzed at least 5 times in 2 miles.
by AyYoMaDood April 02, 2010
jizz bagged is being slammed in the ass by bubba the 500 pound black man with the 20 inch wang. In about 15 minutes of this h-core rape your anus will be 5 inches wider and loaded with jizz. Therefore making your anus a jizz bag for a black man's penis
by joey lucisano October 15, 2004
When one puts an item of clothing, eg a T-Shirt, over ones stomach to catch any stray spoog when knocking one out.
My girlfriend didn't suspect a thing until she found my used Jizz bib under the sofa. She had to tear it off the upholstery.
by Matty Boy March 09, 2004
A towel used to soak up your jizz once you get turned on by something extremly sexy like blood on the dance floor or oldmen walking their tiny dogs while riding their scooters. A portable version of a jizz towel is the new and improved handy jizz rag.
Example one: "jarrod matthew is so amazing and his eyes are so yummy, I luvers him"
"jeez dude, get your fucking jizz towel ready"
Example two: -riding in the car- "HOLYWALNUTS! did you just see that bilboard with Morgan Freemen?!"
"dude... I got this handy portable jizz rag for you to use"
"jeez dude, get your fucking jizz towel ready"
Example two: -riding in the car- "HOLYWALNUTS! did you just see that bilboard with Morgan Freemen?!"
"dude... I got this handy portable jizz rag for you to use"
by houdinimasterfive August 26, 2009
when a member of a message board attempts to be the last poster on every thread so that their name is listed down the left hand side.
first used on the publicrelationsexericse.com forum by lloyd carter esq.
first used on the publicrelationsexericse.com forum by lloyd carter esq.
by jammus October 20, 2004
by BRAUCHWURST April 19, 2003