crank the hog

The most aggressive style of masturbating your chode, resulting from one not getting laid.

Yea boys, sorry I'm late. My girl was being a bitch and told me she flicked her bean earlier...So I had a crank the hog.

by fortsorcrankhog April 2, 2024

Jab the Hog

To wake up in the dead of night, fully torqued, and aggressively masturbate just to fall back asleep.

“Had to jab the hog last night. Wasn’t horny, just medically necessary.”

by GeneKreemer March 24, 2025

Crank The Hog

Masturbating aggressively, often times in a corporate setting

“I mean hey man, I don’t have a real job so what else am I gonna do other than crank the hog for 2 hours in the bathroom?” - Gebge

by anonymous June 16, 2025

Yoinking the Hog

A term that refers to "jacking off" or masturbating. Yoinking references the physical motion of one's hand, while the hog refers to the penis.

Keep in mind, anyone can yoink the hog. Even if they do not possess the hog.

You: "I fucking love yoinking the hog!!!"

by Idon'tknowanymore March 15, 2026

walking the hog

To be used in the situation where you have an unwanted erection right when you have to walk from one place to another.

1: I got an erection right when my meeting was about to end. It was so embarrassing.

2: Let me guess, you walked the hog afterwards?

1: I’m STILL walking the hog.

by shermantheklump March 31, 2026

Crank the Hog

Passing up sex from your partner and telling her you’re going for a wank in the bathroom and not to come in. Also known as the Mitchell Adams

My Mrs was pissing me off so I so I decided to crank the hog instead

by ILoveCracky January 9, 2026

get on the hog

Slang used to direct another person to make a phone call. Originated out of Brantford, Ontario, Canada where one lucky household had a Harley Davidson Fat Boy Telephone. The motorcycle was a collectible novelty model that had a corded telephone hidden under the seat/gas tank.

Woody: "Man I really got the munchies, lets order a pie"
Thibs: "Good idea, get on the hog"

by Thibs July 24, 2008