Skip to main content

Impossible Sit up

A dirty trick you pull on a friend at a party, where you hold a towel over a friends face while he tries to do a sit up with you pulling down on it. While your friend tries to do this sit up you have another friend bend down over him and pull down his pants then you release the towel and your friends face goes into an asshole.
Kean: Aw man I was so drunk last night but I sobered up really fast when Darren and Matt got me to do an Impossible Sit Up.

Impossible Love

To not be unable to get to someone or thing
Impossible Love, I just can't get to you; Impossible Love, I'm so tangled up in blue.
Impossible Love by T-Dog Jenkins January 3, 2005

Impossible Knowledge 

Knowledge that cannot be understood because it is too complex to comprehend or cannot be determined through calculation or experiments.
The definition of "impossible knowledge" is impossible knowledge because there is no way to define something that is unknown.

impossible gift circuit

A gift item is in such poor taste that the receiver can never publicly use it, so the only value he gets out of the gift is to re-gift it to someone who will think it's funny, and it eventually works it way back to the original gifter.

This is a variation of the bad gift circuit, where the bad gift goes back and forth. That usually happens with two people, usually brothers who give back and forth the same hankerchief every year at Christmas. Bad gifts are not as likely to pass through a larger amount of people. Someone will keep the gift. But an impossible gift keeps moving.

Variation: "Impossible Gift Club" there is an undefined comaraderie among the people who have once owned the gift. They all privately think it is funny. But it is in in such poor taste that it is the humor that dare not speak its name.

Once the impossible gift has gone one full circuit, the original gifter gives it again to his first recipient, and the circuit continues with each receipient knowing they are part of a group of people who appreciate truly bad taste.
The original gift is a T shirt which says:

CALM DOWN!

Don't Turn a Rape Into a Murder

Some people will privately think that's funny, but they can't wear it publicly. No way.

So if Johnny gives it to Hank. Hank will say "Wow. That's sick. Some T shirts try to be sick, saying things like 'I got drunk on Spring Break and won a wet T shirt contest' but this is really sick. I wish could wear it, but I'll get in trouble. It's impossible to use. So it will just sit in my drawer."
Johnny says: "You can give it someone else as a present."
So the T shirt is gifted and regifted but never worn. Eventually someone gifts the shirt to Johnny, the original gifter. It has gone full impossible gift circuit. It will happen.

And so they have defined the "Impossible Gift Club"

impossible sex acts 

Sex acts, that appear to be impossible. Duh.
An example of one of the many impossible sex acts is corn holing your partner from 100m away with a blind fold on your face.
impossible sex acts by UpQuark October 3, 2013

Impossible Situp 

When someone (a male) is passed out on their back, you take off your pants and stand with one leg on either side of their torso, with your bare ass in the direction of their face. You then punch them in the groin with a degree of force, and they will sit up abruptly, getting a face full of your bare ass.
Fuck, Josh made me do an impossible situp last night and I swear, I can still taste his ass.