Often created by sad bastards who have nothing better to do with their lives, chain letters usually threaten to do horrible things to you if you don't re-send them to x amount of people within x minutes of receiving them. If you follow the instructions within the given chain letter, then a myriad of wonderful things will happen to you. In order to convince the recipient of the chain letter's power, they commonly incorporate the phrase: "Dis iz so scari cos it actualli werks," or something along those lines. (It may be worth noting, however, that the majority of chain letters' origins lie with illiterates, so they seldom have any grammatical value and can prove very difficult to understand.) Inevitably, the other sad bastards who receive the chain letter believe this crap, and re-send it to all their friends...that is, if they have any...
An 'Illiterate-speak to English' translated chain letter:
"You will have the best day of your entire existence tomorrow if you send this to 1241234234.9238429387423 x 10³ and a half other people within the next 3.3482349872 recurring minutes. Then press F4, F6; hold down Num Lock with your left testicle; press alt three times, with tenuto on the last tap; hit Caps Lock with staccato, with a time signature of 6/8 for the first two bars, then 16/12 for the remaining bars; press Esc. to the rhythm of 'Silent Night'; play the bassline from Beethoven's 5th Symphony in the key of Ab major on the wire of your mouse, with pizzicato throughout; stand on your nose and recite pi in binary. Then, your name, but in Icelandic, will appear on the screen in the font 'Comic Sans'. This is quite frightening because it actually works. If you don't resend this then your Maths teacher will sneak into your room at 12.03 tonight whilst you are asleep and stick photographs of his phallus over your eyes with superglue, so that will be the first thing you see when you awaken in the morning. If you are still awake at 12.03, then he will come out from underneath your bed, chop you up into cubic centimetres and then put you into his geometry set with some kangaroo crap that he measured earlier. Then, you'll get AIDS from a rabid dog that's addicted to crack - who actually mistook you for a schizophrenic next door neighbour - and die from leprosy because Mahatma Gandhi teleported you to Iraq; then to the Vietnam War, which was, incidentally, where Saddam Hussein was having a homosexual encounter with Bin Laden, and George Bush was co-existing with fish and putting food on Al-Qaeda's families (and genitals). When you're dead, a random Goth will tear himself away from his BDSM orgy that he was engaged in with an array of farmyard animals and come to your funeral in his hearse. Here, he will shit on your grave: 'Uhh, that's better!'"
"You will have the best day of your entire existence tomorrow if you send this to 1241234234.9238429387423 x 10³ and a half other people within the next 3.3482349872 recurring minutes. Then press F4, F6; hold down Num Lock with your left testicle; press alt three times, with tenuto on the last tap; hit Caps Lock with staccato, with a time signature of 6/8 for the first two bars, then 16/12 for the remaining bars; press Esc. to the rhythm of 'Silent Night'; play the bassline from Beethoven's 5th Symphony in the key of Ab major on the wire of your mouse, with pizzicato throughout; stand on your nose and recite pi in binary. Then, your name, but in Icelandic, will appear on the screen in the font 'Comic Sans'. This is quite frightening because it actually works. If you don't resend this then your Maths teacher will sneak into your room at 12.03 tonight whilst you are asleep and stick photographs of his phallus over your eyes with superglue, so that will be the first thing you see when you awaken in the morning. If you are still awake at 12.03, then he will come out from underneath your bed, chop you up into cubic centimetres and then put you into his geometry set with some kangaroo crap that he measured earlier. Then, you'll get AIDS from a rabid dog that's addicted to crack - who actually mistook you for a schizophrenic next door neighbour - and die from leprosy because Mahatma Gandhi teleported you to Iraq; then to the Vietnam War, which was, incidentally, where Saddam Hussein was having a homosexual encounter with Bin Laden, and George Bush was co-existing with fish and putting food on Al-Qaeda's families (and genitals). When you're dead, a random Goth will tear himself away from his BDSM orgy that he was engaged in with an array of farmyard animals and come to your funeral in his hearse. Here, he will shit on your grave: 'Uhh, that's better!'"
by Criminal Activist November 8, 2007
Get the Chain Letter mug.a form of demoralization by recieving a letter that must be sent to many friends in order to have good luck. people will customarily test this theory, by trying to send it to their friends, then finding out they don't have any.
by Orion January 15, 2004
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A very stupid thing which demented sadists write for their own amusement. Appears in the form of an email, "real" letter, or Youtube comment. Usually goes something like this:
Ef u dn't snd this lettr to 20 mor pple then you'r (mom will die/ balls will be cut off/ you will turn gay) at mdnite tonite LOL ROFL!!!!!
Only horribly stupid people follow these, while intelligent people ignore them. Really intelligent people track down the people who right the letters and kill these people with a lawnmower and a pogo stick.
Ef u dn't snd this lettr to 20 mor pple then you'r (mom will die/ balls will be cut off/ you will turn gay) at mdnite tonite LOL ROFL!!!!!
Only horribly stupid people follow these, while intelligent people ignore them. Really intelligent people track down the people who right the letters and kill these people with a lawnmower and a pogo stick.
Stupid person: "Oh no's! I just read a chain letter in me email and if me doesn't copy it an' send it to twenty other extremely stupid people, then my mommy will go bye-bye!"
Smart person: "You are a very stupid person."
Stupid person: (Glues foot to forehead) "What?"
Smart person: "You are a very stupid person."
Stupid person: (Glues foot to forehead) "What?"
by Mbleh July 7, 2008
Get the Chain Letter mug.A nonsense phrase that one attempts to parlay into a popular expression. From the "Key and Peele" show.
"Yo, I straight up put the pussy on the chain wax."
"Say what?"
"I said, I straight up put the pussy on the chain wax."
"I think you just making stuff up, dog."
"Say what?"
"I said, I straight up put the pussy on the chain wax."
"I think you just making stuff up, dog."
by Kit Marlowe December 18, 2013
Get the put the pussy on the chain wax mug.by FrenchLascar187 February 14, 2004
Get the cainri mug.by Fdm13 November 8, 2019
Get the blicky chain mug.Simply the coolest investigator in Miami, Horatio Caine is more than a man, he is a way of life with five basic rules:
1. Stand with Hands on hips
2. Place sunglasses on for dramatic effect, then remove them, and repeat (applicable inside as well as out)
3. Never fully address people by looking them in the eye, you're too cool for that.
4. Have a dramatic pause in your speech.
5. Shoot first/45 Degree turn/walk out of camera frame.
This is taken from the fact that in every episode of CSI MIAMI, Horatio will do most of these things, and is a badass at being cool. It all works by combining the first four in the first few minutes of CSI MIAMI, in which Horatio will give a witty one-liner about a dead body. Afterwhich abruptly comes in the WHO "We don't get fooled again"'s scream of YEEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
1. Stand with Hands on hips
2. Place sunglasses on for dramatic effect, then remove them, and repeat (applicable inside as well as out)
3. Never fully address people by looking them in the eye, you're too cool for that.
4. Have a dramatic pause in your speech.
5. Shoot first/45 Degree turn/walk out of camera frame.
This is taken from the fact that in every episode of CSI MIAMI, Horatio will do most of these things, and is a badass at being cool. It all works by combining the first four in the first few minutes of CSI MIAMI, in which Horatio will give a witty one-liner about a dead body. Afterwhich abruptly comes in the WHO "We don't get fooled again"'s scream of YEEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HORATIO CAINE: "You don't spend a thousand dollars on clothes... that you're never gonna wear..."
YEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
FRANK: "What are you going to do?"
HORATIO "I... am going to get to the truth."
YEEEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
YELINA: "this time it was in a public place."
HORATIO: "So they brought the war to us and we..."
Horatio turns 45 degrees.
HORATIO: "Are gonna take it to them."
YEEEEAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FRANK: "It means we got a drive by."
Horatio puts sunglasses on
HORATIO: "Drive by... Miami Style."
YEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
FRANK: "The Jury only had one week before deliberations"
HORATIO: "No need now... the verdict is in."
YEEEAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FRANK: "They call it speed dating. Only cause our victim had 15 dates."
HORATIO: "You know what they say Frank... Speed kills."
YEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
ALEX: "You don't fall three storeys get up and run away."
Horatio puts sunglasses on.
HORATIO: "You do... (looks up) If you've got something to hide."
YEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHH
COLEMAN: "I don't remember anything."
HORATIO: "Okay, listen um... I don't want you to worry about it Mr. Coleman... because I..."
Horatio puts sunglasses on.
HORATIO: "I'll be you're memory."
YEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FRANK: "Friends say she came to drink mojitas and catch some sun."
HORATIO: "Well it looks like..."
Horatio puts sunglasses on.
HORATIO: "something... caught her."
YEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HORATIO: "So we had a victim who started the week big man on campus... and ended it... dead on arrival."
YEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FRANK: "No matter how you cut it, Horatio, divorce sucks."
HORATIO: "Frank..."
Horatio puts sunglasses on.
HORATIO: "it's a killer."
YYYEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FRANK: "She was caught in the cross fire."
HORATIO: "That's what happens when worlds collide."
YEEAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FRANK: "It was a mob hit, Horatio."
Horatio puts sunglasses on
HORATIO: "Yes, and it's time to hit back."
YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
FRANK: "The verdicts in."
HORATIO: "The verdict is in..."
Horatio puts on sunglasses.
HORATIO: "...but the jury is out."
YEEEEEEAAHHHHHHHH
GRINGO: "Lieutenant Caine."
HORATIO: "You help me, and I'll help you."
GRINGO: "You're already dead brother."
Horatio shoots the Gringo dead.
HORATIO: "Join the club."
YYYEEAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Honourable mentions:
1. Horatio gets in bomb-armed SUV, and with four minutes to spare, drives to the beach, takes off his sunglasses. Steps out and, slowly, walks away from the SUV. As he places his sunglasses on, the SUV explodes into a massive ball of fire and rubble. And Horatio says, "Burn, baby, burn."
2. Horatio steps out from an ambulance, as three hitmen has been sent to kill him, as he emerges from behind the ambulance, he shoots two hitmen before they can open fire, the third runs away. As one lays in agony he tries to raise his gun.
Horatio calmly instructs, "Stay down..."
The guy doesn't listen.
Horatio, repeats, "stay down."
The guy doesn't listen.
And without even looking at the guy, Horatio shoots him, while continuing his walk.
3. In the Season 5 Premier, RIO, in slow motion and to the song "We Don't Get Fooled Again" by the Who (also the shows theme but extended for this version) Horatio shanks Riaz, in cold blood. Coolest. Murder. Ever.
YEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
FRANK: "What are you going to do?"
HORATIO "I... am going to get to the truth."
YEEEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
YELINA: "this time it was in a public place."
HORATIO: "So they brought the war to us and we..."
Horatio turns 45 degrees.
HORATIO: "Are gonna take it to them."
YEEEEAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FRANK: "It means we got a drive by."
Horatio puts sunglasses on
HORATIO: "Drive by... Miami Style."
YEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
FRANK: "The Jury only had one week before deliberations"
HORATIO: "No need now... the verdict is in."
YEEEAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FRANK: "They call it speed dating. Only cause our victim had 15 dates."
HORATIO: "You know what they say Frank... Speed kills."
YEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
ALEX: "You don't fall three storeys get up and run away."
Horatio puts sunglasses on.
HORATIO: "You do... (looks up) If you've got something to hide."
YEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHH
COLEMAN: "I don't remember anything."
HORATIO: "Okay, listen um... I don't want you to worry about it Mr. Coleman... because I..."
Horatio puts sunglasses on.
HORATIO: "I'll be you're memory."
YEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FRANK: "Friends say she came to drink mojitas and catch some sun."
HORATIO: "Well it looks like..."
Horatio puts sunglasses on.
HORATIO: "something... caught her."
YEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HORATIO: "So we had a victim who started the week big man on campus... and ended it... dead on arrival."
YEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FRANK: "No matter how you cut it, Horatio, divorce sucks."
HORATIO: "Frank..."
Horatio puts sunglasses on.
HORATIO: "it's a killer."
YYYEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FRANK: "She was caught in the cross fire."
HORATIO: "That's what happens when worlds collide."
YEEAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FRANK: "It was a mob hit, Horatio."
Horatio puts sunglasses on
HORATIO: "Yes, and it's time to hit back."
YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
FRANK: "The verdicts in."
HORATIO: "The verdict is in..."
Horatio puts on sunglasses.
HORATIO: "...but the jury is out."
YEEEEEEAAHHHHHHHH
GRINGO: "Lieutenant Caine."
HORATIO: "You help me, and I'll help you."
GRINGO: "You're already dead brother."
Horatio shoots the Gringo dead.
HORATIO: "Join the club."
YYYEEAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Honourable mentions:
1. Horatio gets in bomb-armed SUV, and with four minutes to spare, drives to the beach, takes off his sunglasses. Steps out and, slowly, walks away from the SUV. As he places his sunglasses on, the SUV explodes into a massive ball of fire and rubble. And Horatio says, "Burn, baby, burn."
2. Horatio steps out from an ambulance, as three hitmen has been sent to kill him, as he emerges from behind the ambulance, he shoots two hitmen before they can open fire, the third runs away. As one lays in agony he tries to raise his gun.
Horatio calmly instructs, "Stay down..."
The guy doesn't listen.
Horatio, repeats, "stay down."
The guy doesn't listen.
And without even looking at the guy, Horatio shoots him, while continuing his walk.
3. In the Season 5 Premier, RIO, in slow motion and to the song "We Don't Get Fooled Again" by the Who (also the shows theme but extended for this version) Horatio shanks Riaz, in cold blood. Coolest. Murder. Ever.
by Jimblorath March 8, 2007
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