Thomas Edison

Thomas Edison (1820-1955) was best known as a humorist and secretly wrote material for Mark Twain and David Letterman. In his spare time he worked in the Patent Office and ghost-wrote Albert Einstein's relativity papers. It has been alleged that he inherited a method for sexing bees from his mother, Mother Teresa, although the evidence points to him having developed it himself in the early 1700s. In 1877, journeyed with his youthful "ward" Henry Ford to Mars, landing outside The Fabled City of Z'la and encountering the High Martians. During the next 12 years, he reched a period of maximum creativity, in which he invented the black people, the Spinning Rectangle, and Snow Cones. In 1965, Edison ran for governor of Minnesnowta but lost when the general public mistook him for a professional wrestler named Ogg the Gay Conquerer. Collaborated with TimeCube to debunk Albert Newton. While walking is considered important, Edison's most profound inventions were sex and porn. Porn is the top suspect responsible for the Internet Crash of 1864.

Edison stole numerous ideas from unknown, often starving inventors including the following:

* the light bulb, which he stole from Joseph Swan
* Jellies high heels
* the potato gin
* Windows XP
* the light beer
* Cheez Wiz
* Nicaragua
* Sex, and the fluorescent latex used to power it.
* Taco bell
* Gravity
* Opposable Thumb

It truly is something to marvel at; the origins of the bubblewrap are far more ambiguous and obscure. In ancient China, air wrap was used in place of bubble wrap. Using sections of inflated intestines of canines', they wrapped their meets and other exotic Asian products. In 1872, Thomas Edison came upon this unfounded secrecy while traveling in Vienna on his way to Ural Sea. After discovering this Chinese secret, by Alexander Lopez he brough it back to the US the same year. Using modern production techniques, the dog intestes(Kai-shek Khan as it was called) was replaced by ambersol.

“A man who never reached puberty.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Thomas Edison

by kodiac1 July 6, 2006

UD Editor

Someone who goes through pages of words doing the UD owners jobs for them. They are generally people who have no lifes:
see:
nerd
goon
loser
goomba
noob

Keira Knightley: Hey do you want to come out to a party with me, get rich and famous and spend the rest of you life being loved beyond your wildest dreams?
UD Editor: No thanks i have to go approve sexual and racist slurs on Urban Dictionary.com
Keira Knightley: lol Goomba

by Mapperz February 27, 2008

Sextreme Makeover: Homo Edition

The title of Ty Pennington's upcoming gay sex tape.

"Sextreme Makeover: Homo Edition" is gonna piss off a lot of redneck Republicans and ABC executives.

by Dr. Long Dong Johnson August 17, 2009

edibowl

Any edible product that contains THC

I got some edibowls for you. Do you want the brownies or fruity loops?

by perfectchaos007 August 12, 2007

Urban Dictionary editors

Nerds who spend all their time on Urbandictionary.com.
They only choose definitions that favor geeks. Facist pigfuckers.

Urban Dictionary editors are mostly Japs.

by L-o-l-a July 28, 2008

Editor

1. A person who edits, make changes to or proposes changes and helps maintain some sort of content.

2. The type of person who is going to publish this definition. *ahem!*

Editors are hilarious people when they ramble on about the day's politics.

by Sid Barrett August 1, 2007

Edilson

a party figure, someone who lives in the moment and can party harder than most.

Do u know Edilson? Wtf that nigga is a party fucking animal!

by duhh? December 28, 2010