beating up the turtle head 

When an uncircumsized guy masterbates at a fast enough rate to make his cock head pop in and out.

Tony O nearly passed out beating up the turtle head to a Sears catalog last night.

beating up the turtle head by Tri-State dumb ass's February 7, 2008

TurtleDuck 

The animal species classification for the Koopa Troopa enemies found in Nintendo's Mario Brothers games.

It's the worst when you die at the hands at one of those generally useless jumping turtleducks in SuperMario Bros.

TurtleDuck by deefab430 January 25, 2010

Turtle Farmer 

one who farms turtles for a living.

a light insult when you dont want to get all vulgar. Unless you want to get vulgar then you add it to a vile slew of words

Guy1: Thats not a tortoise, that's a red eared slider.

Guy2: What are you a fucking turtle farmer?

You goddamn mutha fucking shit rolling dick lactating crack licking turtle farmer

Turtle Farmer by Crunchyness May 11, 2007

turtlesnaking 

1) verb (colon) the inability to fully expel feces from a rectum due to hydrophobia or other natural/unnatural causes. This differs from constipation as said defication has partially left the anus prior to returning to it's shell

Sorry that I missed church: The chalupa I ate last night, in combination with the multitude of India pale ales already churning in my stomach, unfortunately left me turtlesnaking on the toilet for far too long to make it.

turtlesnaking by Doubleoh8.5 September 12, 2016

Turtle Socks 

-It can replace cusswords used when angry.
-A way to keep your pet turtles feet warm.
or
-It can be a reply to another phrase

"Oh, turtle socks."
"Did you get Crush his turtle socks?"
"Word Up.... Turtle Socks =D"

Turtle Socks by DinoDan/Lt.Sexyface January 19, 2009

turtletext 

to reply at a text at a speed slower than slow.

yo, rach, quit turtletexting me.

turtletext by Fuck_cops92 December 31, 2009

turtle thump 

unsatisfying coitus with an extremely small penis... so small, in fact, it is sucked up into the man's body like the head of a turtle, nearly making intercourse completely impossible altogether.

Brian: "It's just sad when you please a women and they go crazy. She was begging for another donkey punch."

Kelly: "...more like a turtle thump"

turtle thump by havwingswillfy April 8, 2010