A man who gets off on watching children 24/7 and making a list of Those who are nice, and those who are “naughty” he uses this list to choose his targets and break into their houses. He is often depicted as obese due to the fact that he lives exclusively off of stolen baked goods and dairy products, but in reality he must be RIPPED from all of the walls he scales and he has to be fairly lean in order to squeeze down all those chimneys. Mose people believe he gets around so fast because of a majical slay and a team of flying reign deer with LED noses, but this is very unlikely because he would be so easy to spot. It is much more plausible that the child stalking creep with so many different names is actually riding around in a white van to blend in with the snow and to have room for all of his “gifts” that he’s used to gain children’s trust worldwide! The only question remaining is, “is Santa Claus coming to your town?”
Me: I think I just heard something on the roof!
Macaulay Culkin: I’ll go deal with it.
Me: Wait! It could be Santa Claus!
Macaulay Culkin: Your right... I’ll bring extra bricks.
Me: Good idea! Now go put an end to that creep!
Macaulay Culkin: I’ll go deal with it.
Me: Wait! It could be Santa Claus!
Macaulay Culkin: Your right... I’ll bring extra bricks.
Me: Good idea! Now go put an end to that creep!
by iabast December 25, 2020
Get the Santa Claus mug.by Gabe.M March 7, 2020
Get the Santa Clausish mug.When you have a shit and you don't want to go to the bathroom so you slide that shit up and down your asshole.
by erferfin February 11, 2022
Get the Santa Clausing mug.A fat harry man that breaks into your house on christmas night. Drinks the sticky white stuff the fourteen year old leaves out in the fridge. Rapes you under the bed then gives you a sededation and puts you back to sleep, then he has an affair with your mother. Finally, he is every boys idol because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
by Karen's Acrylics October 21, 2019
Get the Santa Clause mug.A wet Santa is when you do crystal meth out of a girls wet vagina. After snorting it the meth is wet and sticks to your face giving you a white Santa-like beard.
by Jackglinky November 11, 2015
Get the wet santa mug.An excuse to get children to make good choices and be good all year. However, it never works but we give them presents anyways, so they don’t throw tantrums saying that this is the worst Christmas ever.
Hey, Little Bobby, Make sure you’re nice or else Santa Clause won’t get you that teddy bear you want.
by lady tiny fame six November 13, 2019
Get the Santa Clause mug.1 : "Be honest, does this dress make me look fat?"
2: "I mean, you have put on some weight since I last saw you."
1: "Yeah, but it's Santa weight. I'm gonna lose it by January."
2: "I mean, you have put on some weight since I last saw you."
1: "Yeah, but it's Santa weight. I'm gonna lose it by January."
by Xpngs&cats December 5, 2016
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