to chair

To wank aggressively in a squatting position atop a female companion in a horizontal position

To chair (verb) Joe Byrne chaired Sarah's cousin and is now being done for public masturbation

by John McGuinness November 17, 2013

Chair

A shit on which you put your fucking ass on

I sat on a goddamn chair yesterday

by You shit bruhh May 20, 2020

Chair

A thing that is sat on.

IT'S A CHAIR!!!
OHH!!!
IT'S A CHAIR!!!!!
It's a chaaaaair!!!
Jeez. That was a highlight

by asdafadasgaa October 13, 2008

chair

noun: a platform for sitting on. Usually consists of hard, sturdy legs and a cushioned platform with lumbar support.

verb: To use a chair (see above) to deliver a beating or severely hurt someone. Usually, threats involving chairs are used by wannabe gangsters as a means to intimidate others.

noun:
What a comfy chair...I could play CS on this all day...

verb:
1: What the **** are you looking at?
2: (begins explaining that he means no harm, tries to calm (1) down)
1: SHUT UP OR I'LL CHAIR YA!
2: Ok.
1: NAH, SHUT THE **** UP OR I'LL CHAIR YA RIGHT NOW!

by MrKapper June 30, 2007

in chair

The action of masturbation; essentially a replacement for "masturbating". Parallel to the meaning of "in bed", with the meaning of masturbation rather than having sex.

Pulled from the fact that most masturbation is done in a chair in front of a computer.

1: Man, I had a great time last night.
2: Were you in bed with someone?
1: Nope, I was just in chair, that's all.

by Sundae May 30, 2006

Chaired

Alike to benching a footballer. One of the boys on a night out is so inebriated that hes been seated by force until the taxi arrives

Aldo was so pissed we chaired him at the pub

by Aldoism October 2, 2016

chairness

From plato's republic. A word of the "day" in Academic Decathlon.
Litteraly, likeness to a chair. In its true form, how much this object, only a representation of, is like its true incarnation.

The chairness of this bee is at an improbability of imaginary one.

by Alex Nye April 24, 2005