Offense

to help a friend out with a member of the opposite sex by "talking them up"; A wingman will play offense for his buddy to help him get laid

Bro 1: "Dude that girl is so hot, play offense for me!"
---
Bro 2 (to girl): "Hey what's up, have you met my friend Bro 1? He's captain of the football team and thinks you're pretty cute. You should talk to him"

Girl: "OMG OK"

by courthouse September 11, 2013

Offense spending

The enormous budget of the Pentagram in DC. It is used to put troops in 120 nations in 700 bases. It is justified with continuous scare tactics of bin Boogeyman and underwear bombers.

The Repukes want to cut government spending but refuse to cut Offense spending.

by Kopernikus November 7, 2010

Offense-Defense

The progressive stages of advancement and rejection in the make out process (Go for Boobs = Offense, Get pushed away = Defense)

Kelby: Did you score?

Pete: No, I just played offense-defense all night....

by douknowchriso August 26, 2008

offense

A feeling that other people have.

People take offense at everything these days, but not me.

by futureblues August 27, 2018

Offensed

Offense when taken unnecessarily or on behalf of someone else, especially out of context or when it wasn't meant. Like with outrage culture.
As opposed to Offended, which is when it's personal or valid.

Person 1: I can't believe Dave Chapelle is such a homophobe.
Person 2: No, it was a joke, you're just acting Offensed.

by Shookaspear September 13, 2020

Offense Archeologist

When not initially finding offense, the offense archeologist digs for the offense until they find it. When they unearth an offense they polish it up, put it on a pedestal, and then bask in the glow cast upon them by the admiration of the offense archeologist peers.

The offense archeologist had to twist the speaker's words into the realm of the obsurd in order to find something to be offended by.

I wore a tan shirt to my lecture, an Offense Archeologist said it was a brown shirt and asked me if I liked Hitler.

by Don E Darko July 9, 2022

Slappable Offense

An offense severe enough so as to warrant the offender being slapped for their infraction.

"Sheila not telling Brian that she had herpes before sleeping with him is a slappable offense. I'll deliver it myself if he gives me the nod."

by Mucker101 October 14, 2012