Morning Wood

Morning wood is when u wake up in the morning to a dick longer than usual. But u don't always get it in the morning. u get it 3 - 5 times while u sleep. It's actually healthy if u get them bc it means u have moderate blood flow. if u got that big dick for hours and u haven't jerked off then u got problems and u gotta see a doc bout ur dick. Some techniques that are used to soften the wood are to flex ur thighs and ass cheeks, pee, drink less water before bed, stand up for two minutes, and getting that pickle under some cold water. u don't want to go to school/work without coffee bc u spilled it with ur wood.

Dad: holy shit! son! what did u watch last night!
Son: its nothing but my usual morning wood.
Dad: gtfo of bed son, I don't want ur sheets covered in cum.

by TheGuyYouGoToForThisKindaStuff December 5, 2017

Morning Blow

When a guy receives a cock suck in the morning.

Keirsten took care of business this morning by giving Chad his Morning Blow!

by SlopNChop October 6, 2016

Morning Shit

Morning shit is a shit that becomes so frequent in your schedule, that it is set aside as part of your morning duties prior to starting the working day.

It's a shit that really signals the start of your working day... in a good way.

Monday morning ritual

1.) computer on
2.) coffee brewed
3.) emails read
4.) bowels groaning
5.) shit taken

"Oh gotta take my morning shit...right! ready to start the day"

by Wizz Bang March 5, 2012

Morning Blow

The act of giving/receiving oral sex upon waking up.

I can't get out of bed without a morning blow to go with my cup of joe.

by TK_ASS March 22, 2013

morning deflation

When you wake up and start deflating after a nice long night of building up gas throughout your digestive system.

"*beepbeep, beepbeep, beepbeep*
*Stretch, yawn, fart, burp*
Looks like I have started my morning deflation"

"Honey can you take your morning deflation to the bathroom?"

"If I don't start my morning deflation soon I might explode"

by The_ALCH June 15, 2019

morning thunder

The first, usually very powerful, fart of the day.

'The quiet peace of the tent was shattered by Brian's morning thunder'

by ant August 4, 2004

morning breast

When your girlfriends breasts are warm from the night before

My girlfriend was soo warm this morning

She probably had morning breast enjoy it buddy!

by Conker1 October 4, 2016