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Masterbation

1. Masturbation after one attains a new rank or does an important feat, or anything that would make one feel important.

2. Masturbation while in a rank of power or authority.
"Today was a great day, I won the spelling bee then i Masterbated."

"Dude you're 9... masterbation?"

"Feels Good man."
by KooKid October 23, 2009
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Laws of Masterbation

1) you may only jizz on a guy if he is dead or unconscious.

2) You may only jizz on a girl if she is alive and conscious.

3) you may not jizz in front of family members

4) you may not jizz in front of a guy unless both of you are jizzing on the same girl.

feel free to add more.
Dude, you just broke the first and third laws of masterbation by jizzing on your dad!
by anon113618436 January 5, 2010
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exsturbation

1. The Act of engaging in a mental fantasy concerning Maturbation resulting in accidental climax after having become EX-masturbatory (i.e. for Lent, Life, 5 minutes)

or more commonly...

2. The act of Masterbating to the thought of an Ex-Lover (usually accompanied by tears of lonliness and often hatred)
2 1/2. Or even Masturbating with an Ex-Lover.
3. And Finally Masturbating an Ex-Lover.
(Phone Conversation involving exsturbation)

No I'm fine Bill, I mean Yeah, I think about her sometimes but... you know... Its been a year now... yeah still a bit Angry, I mean Herpes doesn't just clear up over night you know..! (nervous laugh) ha, ha-ha... (gaining in volime) YEAH well I... I MEAN I EXSTURBATED-ALL-OVER-HER-FUCKING-CAR YESTERDAY...so yeah... feeling much better
by Octopusswah June 28, 2006
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Urban masterbation

The activity, or sport, of ejacualting on random people in towns and cities, and then running away.
1) "Oh god, what happened to you?"

2) "Some asshole ejacualted all over me while I was walking home from work"

1) "Ah, he must have been playing urban masterbation"
by originalname1234 September 19, 2012
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masterbation

simple practice of solo sex.probably not one teenage male that hasn't done it in your hometown,unless they are of course that kinda funny guy that just won't ever seem to converse about sex or girls.see limp dick motherfucker
i probably could not go a week without masterbation
by pothhead February 26, 2009
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earsturbation

The intensely pleasurable act associated with cleaning one's ear with a cotton bud or relieving an itch with your finger or similarly shaped object.
Man: (moan)
Woman: Honey, you've been in the bathroom for 20 minutes now; is everything ok?
Man: Yeah, babe, I'm just enjoying a bit of earsturbation... I'll be out as soon as I finish the other ear! (moan)
Woman: Hey, pass me a Q-tip and I'll join you!
Man and Woman: (moan)
by mfort November 30, 2009
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beasterbation

The act of a Centaur using its human upper body to sexually arouse its horse lower body.

A mix between masturbation and beastiality.
I saw a centaur performing beasterbation, it wasnt pretty.
by Shenk01 January 16, 2011
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