An ancient American rite of passage for the young male brosef trying to prove himself on the modern battlefield (read: bars and clubs). Counting douche has a long and rich history in the club scene and can be easily observed on any night where classes get out early.
The act involves one male (hereby referred to as the 'douche') performing a physical act against another male-generally in the form of light body checking, body slapping, or other type of immature physical contact. The douche, contrary to popular belief, is not looking to start a physical confrontation as much as he is trying to impress his bro circle and their skank squadron. Confrontation is not rare, however, and much to the delight of nearby onlookers the douche is typically thrown headfirst back into his circlejerk of friends.
The most conservative definition of counting douche requires that the douche be physically smaller than his opponent. Larger opponents may be sought out in order to achieve more 'bro cred' and choice mating rights with the skanks. If the douche is larger than his opponent then bravery (or is it stupidity?) does not come in to play; the douche is more appropriately referred to as an 'asshole.'
North America has a rich warrior history of counting coup, and counting douche is the latest iteration of this unique phenomenon.
The act involves one male (hereby referred to as the 'douche') performing a physical act against another male-generally in the form of light body checking, body slapping, or other type of immature physical contact. The douche, contrary to popular belief, is not looking to start a physical confrontation as much as he is trying to impress his bro circle and their skank squadron. Confrontation is not rare, however, and much to the delight of nearby onlookers the douche is typically thrown headfirst back into his circlejerk of friends.
The most conservative definition of counting douche requires that the douche be physically smaller than his opponent. Larger opponents may be sought out in order to achieve more 'bro cred' and choice mating rights with the skanks. If the douche is larger than his opponent then bravery (or is it stupidity?) does not come in to play; the douche is more appropriately referred to as an 'asshole.'
North America has a rich warrior history of counting coup, and counting douche is the latest iteration of this unique phenomenon.
Example 1.
Patron 1: Hey, why is that squiggly little quimby with the three popped collars making it a point to keep bumping into you?
Patron 2: Oh don't worry he's just counting douche.
Patron 1: Don't let him touch you! His axe body spray will rub off and embed into your soft skin.
Example 2.
Bro 1: Yo brah, I bet you a case of Natty Ice you too scared to start shit with Fat Larry over there.
Bro 2: Durr make sure the bitches is watching whilst I begin counting douche.
Patron 1: Hey, why is that squiggly little quimby with the three popped collars making it a point to keep bumping into you?
Patron 2: Oh don't worry he's just counting douche.
Patron 1: Don't let him touch you! His axe body spray will rub off and embed into your soft skin.
Example 2.
Bro 1: Yo brah, I bet you a case of Natty Ice you too scared to start shit with Fat Larry over there.
Bro 2: Durr make sure the bitches is watching whilst I begin counting douche.
by Butterknife April 6, 2009
Get the counting douche mug.by superhog May 24, 2006
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The term used to discibe someone about to pass out on the bar. They're head is waving back and forth and close to the bar but they're not quite passed out.
by Todd Romleski May 24, 2008
Get the counting ants mug.When a women watches either a really scary film or a bit in a film which has a tense or climatic part to it, tends to clench her fanny together tight from excitment and nerves. The women may also squeeze her thighs tighly and also her asre cheeks too.
by Carina Crolla May 13, 2005
Get the fanny clenching mug.The act of doing a certain type of dance mainly to New Orleans bounce music that involves bending over or getting on your hands and knees and bouncing your booty up and down and all around fast to the music. As in the booty bounce.
Girl: "I just wish my mama would stop pounching with no underwear on, it's embarrassing!"
Guy: "Dayummmm dude, look at that white girl pounching over there!
Guy: "Dayummmm dude, look at that white girl pounching over there!
by meetooagain July 17, 2011
Get the pounching mug.The act of squatting over someone's head, facing their feet and shitting in their mouth while simultaneously vomiting on their genitals.
On the days of Ancient Rome, the senators would oft perform the "Crouching Caesar" on their spouses after a fine feast.
by roblund March 8, 2007
Get the Crouching Caesar mug.Short name for concussion jumping, or, using concussion grenades to perform trickjumps in the half-life mod, Team Fortress Classic. Started out with easy crap such as concmap_r, and now there are maps that are so fucking huge, you would go insane trying them.
"Who's up for some concing on concmap_cze_r?"
by Sam August 6, 2004
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