John

John is so weird. He looks like a pear. He needs a haircut. He has no hairline. A John would never be kind, even if his life depended on it.

I hate John. He makes me rage!

by MyTerror December 10, 2019

john quantavious dingleberry the eighth castle jr

A very beautiful Asian man. He's known to be the chillest man on Earth, he's also very sexy.

Rachel: "OMG! WHO'S THAT?!"
Samantha: "YOU DON'T KNOW? THAT'S JOHN QUANTAVIOUS DINGLEBERRY THE EIGHTH CASTLE JR."
Rachel: "WHY'S HIS NAME SO LONG?"
Samantha: "IT'S UNIQUE!"
Kills Rachel

by Stuffedhobo July 10, 2023

Pulling a John

Drinking five tall rum and cokes and beating a member of your immediate family.

"I heard R-Kelly pulled a John last week" "If you try to make me go back to rehab imma pull a John on all ya'll motherfuckers" "on god im Pulling a John this weekend"

by CouchCreamerVance October 6, 2025

John

Nonsensical euphemism for any noun (usually a penis,) often used jokingly or to self-censor in public.

1: "DUUUUDE! I hit my fucking John!"
2: "What?"
1: "MY JOHN! IT HIT ME RIGHT IN THE JOHN!"
2: "Travis, what the hell are you talking about?"

by Torrajin October 23, 2022

John

Monkey

Oh John? Yeah he's a monkey

by MONEY BOY JON March 21, 2025

James-John

An ecstatic goat with loads of energy. He will turn any frown into a smile. He is the life of every party and will slut drop on anything.

Amazing guy with a massive cock.

Don't we all need a James-John in our life.

I wish I had a James-John here tonight!

by James-John September 15, 2018

Brooklyn John

When someone sits on your face and drools.

She seemed boring at first but it didn’t take me long to talk her into giving me a Brooklyn John.

by El Capitán Nico August 21, 2022