Professional Help

A euphemism for mental health services, implying that mental health services are shameful and should be kept a secret. Also, in a country like the United States, which values the physically active, the tangible, metrics, and all and only that which can be seen and measured, the legitimacy of a group of professionals who sit on their butts all day listening to people bitch and moan has to be questioned.

-Did you hear about Mike? He's all kinds of messed up since getting out of the service: homeless, drugs and alcohol, divorced, all that.
-Yeah, I feel bad cause bro got hit by shrapnel. Still, I think maybe he needs professional help.
-... ... ... So, you gonna tell him he needs professional help?
-Hell no.
-Yeah, hell no...
-Maybe give him some space, right?
-Yeah, he's got is war buddies, right? Maybe he's turned into some kinda psycho.
-Yeah, let's just give him some space, bro. It's cool. He'll be fine.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.

by KeepItSweet November 17, 2022

Professional Bed Tester

An individual who hooks up with random strangers frequently and stays the night in their bed.

I didn't realize Jessica was a professional bed tester till she told me her body count.

by Cpt. Chlamydia March 28, 2023

professional street hamsta

definition 1: when one is undeniably the best street hamsta around town
definition 2: white people way of avoiding the n-word

guy 1: see that dude over there
guy 2: who?
guy 1: he do be the most professional street hamsta around the block.
guy 2: aight bet.

by myggefar May 23, 2023

professorware

Flaky software written by a student with minimal help or oversight from their professor. They just wanted to graduate so they got the bare minimum working, didn't document any comments, or fully test the software. Usually they dump the code on a public site like GitHub along with a publication and the code goes unmaintained for years, with no commits, branches, or any other activity since it was first uploaded.

I tried getting that algorithm working from that 10 year old paper, but it is professorware. I couldn't install all the dependencies because it only runs on Windows XP.

by fellock May 23, 2023

Professional

A person who:

- Can be polite
- Can be efficient
- Has a plan to kill everyone they meet

"Professionals have standards" - The Sniper

by Chicken_absorber October 12, 2023

pajama professional

(n.) -- a person who works from his or her home, often lounging around in pajamas all day or putting on some informal clothes as the day goes on.

"My brother in Alaska has become a certified pajama professional now; he makes a nice living from his home office and never has to wear a suit and tie anymore. I love it!"

Overheard at a watercooler in Seattle on October 25, 2009

by PRwiz101 October 29, 2009

mad professor

A scientist who invents crazy things that get beyond his scope of control and cause significant damage; a mad scientist.

The young mad professorKenny's invention,capital letter H,destroyed Kenny's home by crashing through the wall,thus leaving an H-shaped hole. Kenny knew he would have to deal with and live with the hole in his wall for a long time, due to the unhealthy economy and Obamacare.

by JMC70 May 18, 2017