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Telechav

Telechav

A TV contender (usually from a reality show), who becomes famous for stupidity, fecklessness, imbecilic behaviour, naivety, crudeness, rudeness and general chav behaviour and chav attitudes (see Chav in the dictionary).

A telechav is really a super-chav who, once famous, has the means and media exposure to expand the bounds of chavism:

· They can spend more time and money at the hairdressers having chemicals put on their hair to make it look like a cheap sparkly nylon wig.
· They can get drunk/drugged up more often and get into more fights and have sex in a better class of toilet.
· They have baby chavs (rather than use the chav contraceptive -an ab….) and call the little chavs stupid names and dress the creatures in miniature chav outfits (branded sports clothes/shoes that sell for 200 times more than they cost to produce) and have the little chavs pieced about their bodies for gold plated studs and rings to be inserted.
· Telechavs are the modern equivalent of the sideshow Geek seen in travelling shows in the USA in the 1930s, but are much more abundant.
Having one eye taken out (right eye is more fashionable) and replacing it with a gold plated orb is all the rage with telechavs.

Telechav speak: "ah fink am qween of media un stuff coz am stlye like dat un evryfink - rilly"
by Emu February 26, 2004
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telecarb

the carbs that you burn talking on the phone
*ring* ring* "hello?" "hey, i'm just calling you to burn some telecarbs"
by connor & kristy October 16, 2008
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telecannabinesis

A phenomenon in which people who are high on Marijuana share mental wavelengths. This can manifest in many ways including but not limited to; a friend whistles or hums a song that you were just thinking about, says something aloud that you were just thinking, texts or calls you at the same moment that you were going to text or call them, happens to be smoking pot elsewhere at the same moment you are, or you and a friend say the same thing at the same time.

Although these phenomena do occur for people who are not under the influence of Marijuana, the frequency of these phenomena seem to increase for people who are.
TEXT MESSAGE:
Dude what are you doin?

-Just blazin' and listening to Derp by Herp&theDerps. This song is so amazing when you're high.

OMFG ARE YOU KIDDING? I'm doing the exact same thing! We've got telecannabinesis!
by Stankmeista July 8, 2011
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Telecide

A generic term for long range fatal advances. IE: archery, spear throwing, tomahawk throwing, cannons, guns, crossbow, missile firing
The soldiers in the back mainly fight with methods of telecide.

In the battle of Agencourt, the English defeated the French because of their telecidal advancement of the longbow.

The technology of nuclear missiles provides armies the advantage of telecide.
by Dark Master87 June 5, 2009
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Tenecia

omg that girl is white! why is her name tenecia?
by lilysducks October 13, 2011
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telecasleep

To deceive one's boss/co-workers into believing you are telecommuting, and, instead, shirk your professional responsibilities and sleep-in (often through the afternoon and typically after a heavy night's drinking).
My fellow inebriates and I ended up telecasleeping last Friday after a late night's revelry that culminated in our collective incarceration and subsequent jailbreak. Thankfully, my boss was none the wiser.
by j masters January 16, 2007
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Telecide

Person A: How about we watch some TV at your place?

Person B: I can't

Person A: Why?

Person B: I committed telecide when Justin Bieber won Artist of the Year at the American Music Awards
by Rasnodar December 10, 2010
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