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masterbatum

when someone offers you a choice between two things and you decline both and decide to masterbate instead
joey:listen man, you can either come with me to the grocery store or go make your own dinner, your choice.

penisface92: fuck you man, im about turn that ultimatum into a masterbatum.

joey:fine asshole, do what you want, youre never gonna get a girlfriend.
by penisface92 September 17, 2011
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masterbacin'

what you do when looking at bacon porn.
Last night, when I was looking at bacon porn, I started masterbacin'
by cjsnickers April 23, 2009
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Masterbirginity

1. Masturbation virginity. To have never masturbated. To have maintained a state of non-masturbation since birth. Once one masturbates (for the 1st time), he/she is no longer a virgin of masturbating, and is said to have lost his/her masterbirginity. Once one masturbates he/she will quickly become a master at it, thus it is spelled m-a-s-t-E-r (instead of m-a-s-t-u-r).

2. An alternate meaning and perhaps the more common understanding of masterbirginity has been assumed by the initial misunderstanding of the spelling of masterbirginity. Before a live performance at an annual swedish heart health benefit in 2009, pop artist, Damien Adore and his then girlfriend, Meagan Toulouse, discussed masterbirginity during a Band Crush tm interview. His girlfriend thought that to lose one's masterbirginity represented the first time one had sex in a master-bed or the first time one experienced anything for the first time in a master-bed or master-bedroom. The interview clip is cut short before Damien can finish telling a story about the 1st time he walked-in on his parents having sex.
*Son enters parent's bedroom,
"Hey Dad do you know where i put the..."
*runs away while vomiting profusely.

Older Brother: "Hahahaha lost that masterbirginity, lil squirt? How bad was it? Were mom's poopboobies flopping all over? What was the look on Dad's face? Did you get a boner?"
by Jordan Lane March 19, 2010
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Imagination Masterbation

Masterbating using nothing but raw brain power to ensure pleasure while the internet is down or some other excuse!
Yo last night i was using the old technique of Imagination masterbation.... power was down.
by P rizzy420 October 22, 2010
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Fidget Spinner Masterbation

When you lube up your genitals and then take out the middle bearing of a Fidget Spinner then slide it onto your genitals and spin it until you cum.
by Salmon_Slapper May 24, 2017
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Mirror Masterbation

Tom: I'm so hot I'd masterbate to myself.

Bill: You what?

Tom: Ever heard of Mirror Masterbation?

Bill: No... That sounds nasty.
by Flawless23 April 21, 2011
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Maskerbator

One who wears a surgical mask to protect oneself or others from the coronavirus in a situation where it is essentially impossible to spread or contract the disease.
“ I was driving Down the highway the other day and I saw a maskerbator out for a walk.”
by Don Labios April 7, 2020
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