softwood lumber

When your boner kinks when you try to shove it in her ass but she clinches.

She wouldn't relax when I tried to plow her ass and left me with softwood lumber.

by MVCV007 November 29, 2016

lumber party

Similar to an all-female "slumber party", a lumber party is an overnight between male friends.

Lumber refers to dicks. All male party=dicks. Therefore, lumber party.

Similar also to a "sausagefest", but a sleepover.

Tim: Dude did you go to Tom's sleepover last night?

George: Naw man, that was a total lumber party.

by grovecityfan March 31, 2010

Lumberjacking off

The disposal of morning wood through the act of masturbating.

Guy: After the dream I had this morning, I had some lumberjacking off to do...

by JJtheSeme August 12, 2010

Lumbersexual

A not-so-manly man dressing like a lumberjack (although a lot more refined) and sporting a beard that has the volume of a lumberjacks beard and the groom of a hipster, cashing in on the "rugged, outdoor stereotype"
Most of these guys aren't very good with their hands and only want to seem so because God forbid you would get those soft lotion treated hands dirty.
Lumberjacks are typically known for their strength and being able to work with their hands. Most lumbersexuals would be stumped changing a tire.

Dave is such a lumbersexual, in his work boots and flannelette shirt and that well groomed beard.
Yeah you should see him trying to check his oil though haha!

by RS300boi January 25, 2016

Lumbo

Lauren x Mumbo, aka the smexiest ship out there

Lumbo is my OTP

by moonlxt_nb August 4, 2020

chopping the lumber down

The first jerk of the day. This is the reason god invented morning wood. Popularized by Alligator Dave in the song Spank My Monkey.

Man 1: I had a mean case of morning wood today.

Man 2: What did you do?

Man 1: I got started chopping the lumber down of course.

by I got you back July 19, 2009

Lumbergh

A horrible boss who has no idea how to run a buisness. (S)He has the same lame motivational phrases which become meaningless after hearing them day in and out. Also, you totally hate his/her guts for being a total tight-wad.

For more info, See Office Space.

"Yeah, I'm going to need you to come in on, ohh, saturday. We need to play catch up. Oh, and you might as well come in on Sunday too. Thannnkkss.."

"I'm going to need to move you down to storage room B."

by Trevor Anderson January 18, 2005