asymtoke

assuming someone has toked up
Claiming someone is stoned and their really not.

Hey, did you get stoned this morning?

No, im just hyper.

Are you sure dude?

Yes, god don't asymtoke me!!

by Andrea Pitz May 9, 2006

Asymptet

Of South African origin, the Asymptet is the boob which asymptotically approaches the maximum height of the perfect model of a boob.
Originating from the South African word for "boobs" or "tits" known loosely as "tette".

13th: Wow, those boobs look perfect.
LR: Ye, those are the Asymptet.

by supertits May 21, 2011

asystotext

Word coined in January 2018 by a Omaha Cardiologist, Dr. Van De Graaff. Asystotext is a text message that arrives while you’re in a business meeting that causes your heart to stop and you can’t pay attention to anything else going on.

Ironically, the cardiologist suffered from an asystotext caused by his girlfriend in the middle of a very important board meeting. Thankfully, no resuscitation was needed as he recovered quickly spontaneously.

by Logastellus January 23, 2018

asympton

Someone who spreads a virus to many other people because they are aymtomatic (or presymtomatic) and put their personal freedom ahead of the need for social distancing. (See also covidiot and Covid-19)

Look at those idiotic asymptons at Mardi Gras and Daytona Beach.

by BillyBuggy April 9, 2020

Asymptomatic COVID

Carrying infection (the COVID virus) without symptoms of illness.

DOCTOR: Sir, your physical exam is fine, but your COVID test is positive, meaning you are asymptomatic COVID carrier.

ME: Whaat, bruh? Naw, I feel good! I ain’t infected! What am I infected with?
DOCTOR: COVID, the test was for COVID. You are infected. With the COVID virus.

ME: That’s some bullshit! That ain’t me! I’m good, baby! 100% Beastmode!!
DOCTOR: Sorry sir, but the tests are accurate. You are an asymptomatic COVID carrier and you are at risk of infecting others.

ME: you ain't hearing me? Beast-fuckin’-Mode!

DOCTOR: You’ll need to quarantine yourself and wear a mask more consistently, to prevent the spread of COVID.
ME: Quara-what? Mask whaaa? Masks kill people! Nobody wore a mask and lived, EVER! You want me to die? Thought you was a doctor?!
DOCTOR: MmmKay. Sir. If I may...?

1) stop being a little bitch.

2) think about others you might infect.

3) wear your fucking mask, you bitchass fucktard.

4) Where my copay at, son???

ME: It’s just a fuckin conspiracy from the MMI (mask manufacturing illuminati)…fucking masks…
DOCTOR: Oh, and the mask covers you mouth AND YOUR NOSE. Because the COVID virus is up in your nose. So cover your fucking nose, Captain Beastmode. Stethoscope droppppp!!

by Magic Brain Pills September 6, 2020

Asymptomatic

Asymptomatic = you feel healthy and fine but lock yourself In your house and wear a chin diaper while panicking everyone around you.

Ryan can be asymptomatic because he works out, eats healthy and gets a lot of vitamin D.

by Ret Rerr May 12, 2021

Asympzone

Like a friendzone, but worse. You've met her, held hands, you even got her inside your crib, but it's no bueno when it comes to scoring. As they say, you can approach that pussy, but you can never reach that pussy.

Bro 1: "Did you hear that bro 3 just got with that hottie? I think he got friendzoned to be honest."
Bro 2: "Way worse. He got asympzoned. He's never getting her at this rate."
Bro 1: "Shit, dude, now I feel bad for him."

by Tbblobnoern September 26, 2024