asympton 

Someone who spreads a virus to many other people because they are aymtomatic (or presymtomatic) and put their personal freedom ahead of the need for social distancing. (See also covidiot and Covid-19)

Look at those idiotic asymptons at Mardi Gras and Daytona Beach.

asympton by BillyBuggy April 9, 2020

asymptotic boyfriend 

A boy who you are making out with, who approaches the state of boyfriend - without ever reaching it.

"My asymptotic boyfriend Matt continued to introduce me as his friend whenever we ran into people he knew while we were out, despite having been dating for a couple of months."

asymptotic boyfriend by carlygoodman July 30, 2007

Asymptote 

Asymptote is basically the friendzone. You're really close but you can never touch.

Sorry, but you are just an Asymptote. Asympzone!

Asymptote by Katherina Petrova April 9, 2017

Asymptote 

A line that approaches a function's graph more and more closely, but never touches it. Asymptote are the limits of a graph.

HOLY SHIFT! LOOK AT THE ASYMPTOTE ON THAT MOTHER FUNCTION!

Asymptote by Floral Winter February 22, 2010

Braveheart Asymptote 

The school of thought in which a movie may approach the level of Braveheart, but may never reach it, only head towards the theoretical infinity where Braveheart resides.

It should be noted that the x-axis on which the Braveheart Asymptote exists does not necessarily refer to a single idea (i.e. quality, awesomeness, number of bagpipes) but rather everything that Braveheart is and all other movies aspire to be.

Dude 1: Independance Day was a fantastic movie, maybe better than Braveheart.
Dude 2: Unfortuntaly, that is impossible
Dude 1: Why's that?
Dude 2: Because of the Braveheart Asymptote.
Dude 1: Oh, yeah, ok I get it.

Braveheart Asymptote by Luckystrikered June 23, 2008

asymptote dating 

1/Dating; a relationship where you get progressively closer to dating but never actually reach dating. Not to be confused with pre-dating, asymptote dating never leads to actual dating.

Ugh! Why won't Alex and Jon get together??? They're totally asymptote dating.

asymptote dating by ohbb April 22, 2009

Asymptoting 

In mathematics, an asymptote is a line that continually approaches a given curve but does not meet it at any finite distance. In other words, though it curves towards zero, it approaches it indefinitely and never actually reaches it.

Asymptoting describes the phenomenon in which despite the regular passage of time, your relative perception of time appears to slow as you get closer to an event, date, time, etc. Because the line never reaches zero, but travels towards it for infinity, you too feel as if you will infinitely travel towards something that you will never reach. Much like the phenomenon of running towards a door in a dream, but never quite reaching it even though you are covering ground.

Rocko couldn't believe his luck! He had just won an all-expenses paid trip to visit Paris, where he could finally meet the girl of his dreams, Claudette! The only problem was that the trip was a whole month away! Poor Rocko. He was so excited to go, that one month felt like six. Time dragged on. Rocko was asymptoting. HARD.

"Why is this year asymptoting?!" Filburt lamented. "I can't wait for it to be over! Oh fishsticks!"

Heffer hated weekly team meetings at the Chokey Chicken. "I'm getting hungry!" Heffer thought to himself. "Surely thirty minutes must have passed." He looked at the clock. To his dismay, only six minutes had gone by. Heffer heard his stomach growl. "Even my stomach is asymptoting!" he thought.

Ed Bighead dutifully went to work every day, dreaming of a day in which he could finally get "the big office." In his younger days, Ed felt a sense of accomplishment with his work at Conglom-O. But now that Ed was pushing 55, he instead felt himself asymptoting; working endlessly towards a goal he would never meet.

.

Asymptoting by Justine the Christmas Elf November 18, 2019