Soccer Mom

A white suburban mom, from 25 to 50 who refers to her kids as her “Precious Little Angels”, and shields them from reality constantly. They are not allowed to watch any movies rated over PG-13, and they can fuckin forget about watching any R-rated movies. Also not allowed to play any games not rated E. Also not allowed to interact with “the wrong crowd”. This includes, but is not limited to, anyone who isn’t white, anyone who isn’t a fundamentalist Christian, and anyone who doesn’t believe in right-wing bullshit. Also she automatically assumes that anything that isn’t Christian is either atheist or Satanic. She drives a “safe” 45 in a 70 mile per hour zone in her massive minivan or SUV to protect her “Precious Little Angels”, who are still in rear-facing carseats at ages 10 and 12. Usually also a Karen. Will often call the police when something doesn’t go her way or to discipline kids other than her own, and more often than not the cops are on this bitch’s side. If you see her, RUN AWAY AND GET AS FAR AWAY FROM HER AS POSSIBLE.

Me: WHAT THE FUCK BITCH? YOU WERE DRIVING FUCKING 45 ON A FUCKING HIGHWAY!
Soccer Mom: YOU WILL NOT USE SUCH LANGUAGE AROUND MY PERFECT LITTLE ANGELS! MY KIDS ARE HONOR ROLL STUDENTS AND GO TO CHURCH!
Me: YOU THINK I GIVE A SHIT? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH REPAIRS ARE GOING TO FUCKING COST?
SM: LANGUAGE AGAIN! HEY, WHY ARE YOU DRIVING A PRIUS LIKE AN ATHEIST INSTEAD OF A MINIVAN, SUV, OR TRUCK LIKE A CHRISTIAN, YOU LIBERAL HEATHEN!
Me: WHY DOES THAT FUCKING MATTER? YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THE DAMAGE TO MY CAR!

SM: YOU WILL NOT YELL AT ME! AND IS THAT GTA ON THE FRONT SEAT? VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES ARE THE REASON WE HAVE MASS SHOOTINGS AND SERIAL KILLERS! IM CALLING THE POLICE! (calls 911)
(The police arrived and put me at fault when it was this bitch’s fault. Thank God I have a dashcam.)

by qw3r1y March 2, 2023

Soccer

This word is incorrect. It's called football you dimwits.

Tyler: Yoo my dude have you seen the soccer game last night it was totally rad!!!
George Geezer: IT'S CALLED FOOTBALL YOU KNOB

by mPotatoLord August 22, 2023

Street Soccer

Street Soccer is played everywhere in the world. It has organizations, and it can be played on side streets. It takes a ball with several players. Youngster's play this way from the start in South America. Countries host tournament's throughout the world.

A tournament is played as a Street Soccer World Cup.

by kickball April 12, 2014

Call Soccer

A maligned practice of lazy employees at a call center or helpdesk who routinely reject, roll, or "kick" calls to other employees in the queue when they don't feel like doing their job but are otherwise capable of taking a call.

We had four people in the call queue this morning but I ended up with all the calls because the others were playing Call Soccer.

by anon banana November 10, 2020

NJ Soccer 03

NJ Soccer 03 is the nicest guy you will ever meet in your life! He is so good at Xbox

NJ Soccer 03 just came to the party! It’s lit

by Devin Walker September 15, 2021

emo soccer boy

“emo soccer boy” is someone who identifies as a boy and is a soccer player. an emo soccer boy is also someone who is constantly sad and depressed! emo soccer boy is the best way to describe your best guy-friend depressed soccer player.

you’re being such an emo soccer boy right now.

by shurbup February 10, 2022

Texan Cock Soccer

Texan Cock Soccer is a sexual act in which 2 men both grab a woman’s saggy, usually flat breast and wrap It around their cocks. After that, they use the tits to jerk themselves off, then attempt to cum inside each other’s urethras as if the cum was a ball and the urethra was a soccer goal. Variants if this common pastime exist in other states like Maine , Alabama and Louisiana

Sam: “hay john, do you wanna play some Texan Cock Soccer?”

John: “what the fuck”

by Pogo the Clown? November 12, 2019