SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.

I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

by Catamount June 21, 2008

playing lighthouse

Verb: to get an erection while reclining in a bathtub

I walked in on sean playing lightouse in the bathroom.

by Professor McTabbish September 2, 2005

playing Johnny-fuck-around

Goofing off or horseplay. Used by my father to describe what I was doing instead of cleaning my room, doing my homework or whatever else I was supposed to be doing.

"Quit playing Johnny-fuck-around and clean up your room!"

by Char H January 7, 2006

Playing Pocket Pool

To play pool in your pocket

He has a really small pool table in his pocket and he occasionally plays pool on it.

by Sphinctar May 8, 2003

playing the bagpipes

To have one gay male stick his penis in the other man's arm pit

Ryan and Joe were playing the bagpipes all night.

by Anonymous May 7, 2003

role playing

Acting a role that is not your usual way of life.

When Tyrone and Chris got together, they played master and slave. Tyrone kept Chris in chains, said nasty things to him, and in general abused him. Later, they had sex with Tyrone on top.

by Richard Black April 12, 2005

playing the guitar

to play with a girls boobs and pussy at the same time.

jeff said shut the damn door while playing the guitar.

by chris poivka June 10, 2008